Learning to live again

For many years, says Diana Lamplugh, the memory of her daughter Suzy was blurred and distorted by the dreadful circumstances of her disappearance. "Not only had we lost her, we'd lost what she was like as a person - her character, what a marvellous girl she was."

So intense was the public scrutiny of Suzy's case, and so deeply did the name Suzy Lamplugh penetrate the national psyche, to Diana it felt as though her daughter had been "hijacked" and then defined by the terrible tragedy of her death. The family rarely talked about her because "it felt wrong".

"So many people presumed to know who she was. I started to believe their version of her."

At long last, the Lamplughs have begun to reclaim and celebrate Suzy's memory. Yesterday, as a result of a second police investigation into her abduction and murder, the chief suspect in her case was publicly named by a team of detectives - allowing the Lamplughs to finally "move forward with our lives".

At the same time, the " real" Suzy has emerged once more for Diana and her husband Paul. "It's a defining moment for our family," he says, "and, yes, a form of closure."

"When the new investigation began, we started to talk about her to other people again," adds Diana, "and to discover our personal memories of her. It's lovely to have the whole Suzy back again. It feels as though we can start to remember her for herself."

One last goal remains for Diana and Paul and their three other children Richard, Tamsin and Elizabeth: to see Suzy's murderer prosecuted and convicted for his crime. To their distress and anger, however, there will be no such outcome in the immediate future. In June, a new file was submitted by police to the CPS naming 48-year-old John Cannan as chief suspect - a man described by Paul Lamplugh as "quite evil".

Cannan is serving three life sentences for the murder of 29-year-old sales manager Shirley Banks in 1989, and a string of other sex offences. The CPS, however, turned down the prosecution for the murder of Suzy on the grounds of insufficient evidence.

"Of course we're enormously upset," says Paul. "We've been frustrated time and again over the years, and a number of key opportunities have been missed. But at least we've got to a point where we can say the police have done the best they can, and we're ready to do what Suzy would have wanted - move on."

Diana won't have Cannan's name spoken in her presence. "I'm not sure I understand why the CPS have turned us down," she says. "But he's in jail and I won't waste my energy on him. He plays mind games, and he'd like us to be thinking about him, so I won't."

It's been 16 years since " evil " intruded into the life of the Lamplughs. It came in the form of Mr Kipper, the almost comic alias probably used by Suzy's killer and a name that still haunts the collective consciousness with chilling force.

Mr Kipper booked an appointment to view an empty house with the Fulham estate agency for which Suzy worked, though how or when that arrangement was made is still unknown. Yesterday, one of the detectives who led the recent investigation, DCI Jim Dickie, said police now believe Suzy's murderer may have "befriended" her in a personal or professional capacity before her abduction. What's certain is that Suzy was vivacious, sociable and charismatic, and that she used to sit in the window of the estate agency. She left the office alone on 28th July 1986 - and was never seen again.

Her parents have mixed feelings about the fact that her body has never been found. For years, they've waited for that phone call. On one occasion, the family suffered agonising hours while a forensic team dug up animal bones in the mistaken belief they might be Suzy's. "I don't think she'd like to be found in the state she'd be in now," says Diana, 70. "One of the things we cling onto now is how fantastic she used to look." For Paul, 71, a retired lawyer, that lack of fundamental knowledge is still a burning issue. "Oh, it's greatly distressing," he says, wearily. "We don't know where she is, nor how she was killed. The very least the offender can do now is tell us where the body is."

The Lamplughs are a study in contrasts - Paul is mild and softly-spoken, tired of media attention and a little uncomfortable in the spotlight.

Diana, meanwhile, has been the face and voice of the Suzy Lamplugh Trust for 16 years, and even now gives the impression of great energy and determination. They work "fantastically well" as a team, she says, and through the trust promote personal safety in ways that have influenced Home Office policy as well as individual behaviour. In conversation, they finish each other's sentences and defer to each other - though not through politeness, you feel, but because they understand who can best express what they're both feeling.

At first Suzy was treated as a missing person - part of the reason why, says Paul, vital evidence may have been missed in those crucial early months. As the weeks passed, the hope of finding her alive was replaced by a dreadful, unspoken fear. A nationwide search followed, and the police were inundated with calls from the public resulting in many thousands of leads. Yet in the Eighties, resources for this kind of investigation were lacking.

All the evidence and lines of inquiry were logged using a card index and management systems failed to cope with the weight of information. In those days, says Diana, the concept of systematic stalking didn't even exist. Yesterday, the Met admitted "significant opportunities were missed during the original inquiry" and had they been grasped, a prosecution may have resulted years ago.

Cannan, a category A prisoner who is scheduled for release aged 65, has been interviewed twice by the police over the case, and senior officers have little doubt they were talking to Suzy's murderer. "I've dealt with enough homicides in my time to know when I've got a serial killer," says DCI Dickie, bluntly. The Lamplughs haven't considered trying to contact Cannan themselves because "that's what he'd want", says Diana. "That's the kind of game he'd liked to play. We heard his name for the first time two years ago or so, and I know as much as I want to know about him. I know that he's a womaniser and a charmer and I know his modus operandi."

For both Diana and Paul, the hardest thing to cope with - both now and over the years - is the randomness of Suzy's death. When "evil" came looking, why did it have to find their daughter? "It's exactly that," says Paul, with intense sadness in his voice, "the chance meeting ... the why Suzy?"

"But it's not something you can choose to opt out of, once it's happened," says Diana. The choices, she says, come afterwards. "You can spend your whole life being distressed and not thinking about anything else, or you can go forward with your life. I've spoken to a lot of people who've been in the same situation, who've lost children, and that is the decision you're left with."

Following her own advice and now that the shadow of Suzy's murder has been partially lifted, in recent years Diana and Paul have focused on their growing family. Diana's smile broadens as she introduces twoyearold Amelia, Tamsin's daughter, who busies herself drawing pictures as we talk. "She's gorgeous, isn't she? A real joy to have around."

Tamsin herself was 24 when her 25-year-old sister disappeared and has spoken of the nightmares she used to suffer afterwards. But this new generation of children - Lizzie has a baby too - clearly know nothing of the horror that befell their aunt. In every sense they represent a new beginning for the family. More than any police investigation, you feel, the grandchildren have helped the Lamplughs come to terms with the past - by offering an absolutely normal future.

Suzy Lamplugh was a sporty kind of young woman, into surfing and tennis and swimming. She ran around with the "Putney Set" and had dozens of friends. "That was the kind of girl she was," says Diana, "always full of spirit.

"When she was younger, I remember her telling us about her social life and all her work, and I said to her, aren't you doing a bit too much? She said no, life's for living - and that's actually very inspirational. It's fantastic to really remember her now, and to enjoy remembering her."

"When the re-investigation began a couple of years ago, we knew that she was dead and we knew that she was no longer in pain," says Paul. "Now it's over, we can also get on with our own lives in the hope that one day we can get the prosecution. Her spirit lives on, and always will."