"I loved Julia very, very much. Afterwards, there were days when I'd say to myself, you were engaged to the number one actress in the world and now it's over. You blew it, you blew it all." Speculation surrounding the pair taking drugs did not help. "I know for a fact that Julia never touched drugs on any level," says Sutherland. "And I was really angry that the media was allowed to say that and go unchallenged. But when a celebrity says, 'I don't do drugs', it just makes them sound guiltier and you end up caught in this terrible position."