Jordan cuts it short

You can say what you like about Jordan - and people do - but if there is one thing she knows about it is parties.

Her rule seems to be: if you've got it, flaunt it. And, thanks to plastic surgery, Jordan has got it. But last night she was faced with a dilemma.

She had two parties to go to, which is not usually a problem for the former Page Three girl. However, the first party was the 15th Annual British Book Awards, which is posh, innit? The second was hosted by lads' magazine Loaded, which isn't. It is not entirely clear whether Jordan has ever read a book (although she is apparently penning her autobiography), but even she knows that for a serious literary function the appropriate dress would be something glamorous but tasteful. At Loaded they don't really go in for glamorous-but-tasteful; flesh is generally the thing.

How on earth was a girl to dress for such a complicated night out?

Clever old Jordan (and it is not often that one writes those words) found the answer.

For the book bash, at the Grosvenor House Hotel, she turned up in a pink sequinned dress - low cut to the point that one wondered whether the front would actually take the strain - and with a long, feathery train. With her blonde hair and deep, deep tan, Barbie herself would have been proud of her.

Then, a quick presentation to Monica Ali, and off she went to Rouge nightclub in Soho for Loaded's 10th birthday party.

By the time she got there Jordan's long pink number had been turned into a short pink number. One would call it a hot pants outfit, except most hot pants are cut rather more modestly.

The highlight of the Book Awards was David Beckham receiving a Special Award for his autobiography. In a videotaped acceptance speech - recorded before the current scandal broke - he thanked his family for his support and said: "When I decided to write my autobiography I never expected to be breaking records. I just wanted to give my side of the story."

Book of the Year was Eats, Shoots and Leaves, by Lynne Truss; Author of the Year was Alexander McCall Smith; and Monica Ali was Newcomer of the Year.