Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No - it's Super-Jamie

If you are one of those stragglers still resisting Jamie Oliver's ascent to world domination, you are formally advised just to relax and submit. This Renaissance man has now turned his hand to everything from sustainable beechwood pepper grinders to movements for social change, making it a simple inevitability that he should have been chosen to cook tonight's Downing Street banquet for the G20 leaders.

Though Jamie's personal economy is not yet quite large enough to gain independent membership of the G20, that is only a matter of time. Where Gordon Ramsay is struggling to repay loans, Jamie appears to be the last British growth sector, whose success is probably the single barrier between UK plc and bankruptcy.

Indeed, the Jamie brand is so strong that it can survive extension to a near-limitless catalogue of products and initiatives. Only last week he launched Jamie At Home - a business which will sell his new kitchen range via Tupperware-style direct-selling parties. Some 4,000 Jamie sales reps have lined up 2,000 parties within the next two months, as Team Oliver insists the scheme will genuinely change the lives of women in the 20-45 age range.

Try to see it as the Pill in crockery form. Even as you are read this, thousands of pliant consumers are preparing to click "buy" buttons, thrilled that the Jamie magic has been brought to an American oak antipasti platter.

Meanwhile, Jamie's Italian chain of restaurants is making Carluccio's look like the outmoded uncle, while elsewhere in his global battleplans there are custom kitchens to be designed for an exclusive Dubai development.

And because Jamie's professional and family lives are always synergised, his wife Jools is due to go into labour on this very night of the G20 dinner. The only irritation, of course, is that Jools couldn't have given birth early. Jamie recently expressed a desire to cook his wife's placenta into a parfait to be consumed by an unwitting group of friends - and who better than his new bezzies the G20 leaders, who could settle down in blissful oblivion to their starter of afterbirth pâté?

Looking ahead, his people point out that the 4,000-strong army of dedicated sales representatives will be in place to help them roll out future Jamie Oliver product ranges and schemes. As yet, those remain closely guarded - but can his own range of intercontinental ballistic missiles be far behind?

Marina Hyde's book Celebrity: How Entertainers Took Over the World and Why We Need an Exit Strategy will be published by Harvill Secker on 2 April at £11.99.