If women ruled the world

1. Eligibility for sick pay would be extended to categories including Bad Hair days, Boyfriend Trauma days, I Have Nothing To Wear days and Heavy Girls Night Out days.

2. There would be universal peace and harmony - except for one week in every four when emotions would run haywire and there'd be terrible outbreaks of random and inexplicable violence.

3. Instead of having to obey a codified system of laws, men would instead be asked merely to intuit what was right or wrong. Most of the time they would guess correctly how to behave, but sometimes for no obvious reason, they would discover they had committed a heinous crime punishable by instant death.

4. Chocolate, foot spas and Manolo Blahniks would be available on the NHS.

5. The national minimum parking space size would be trebled.