How I spent a day on dope

What would a day of smoking dope really do to your personality? We asked Corrinne Monroe, 23, who lives in Cricklewood, to assess how a day on marijuana affects the judgment, motivation and senses of an occasional weekend smoker ...

10am

"I woke up, had a coffee and smoked around three-quarters of a spliff. I go for a half-hour's run every morning so I got my kit on and went out of the door, despite feeling that I couldn't be bothered.

Usually I can't wait to get going because that run sets me up for the day and gives me something of a high. But 200 yards down the road I had no sense of purpose; my legs felt heavy and all I could think was: 'Why am I doing this?' I stopped and walked back slowly - something I've never done before.

10.30am

By now I was hungry so I cooked a breakfast of beans and fried eggs. I was feeling pretty mellow and managed to stir the beans but couldn't focus on the eggs.

The result was a mess of broken egg. I was so ravenous that I poured it over the beans and ate it quickly. The rule in our flat is we wash up after each meal but I conveniently forgot this and just dumped the saucepan and plate by the sink, which annoyed Katie, one of my flatmates.

11.30am After watching a kids' cartoon, which made me feel oddly elated, I dragged myself to the shower and got dressed for the sales. I caught a bus, feeling slightly paranoid that everyone was watching me as I hauled myself up to the top deck.

I stared out of the window, not particularly focusing on anything. The bus driver was crazy - driving too fast - and normally I would have been anxious. Yet I didn't care, I was so chilled I enjoyed it. At various points along the way I got the giggles about nothing in particular. People in the streets looked odd and I felt rather disconnected, as if what I was watching wasn't real.

12.30pm

Arriving at Brent Cross shopping centre, I walked around on a mission to find some trainers. I began to feel even more paranoid, as though everyone was staring at me, thinking I'd done something wrong.

I think it was more likely that I was attracting their attention by staring at them, but nonetheless I felt uncomfortable. Normally I'm decisive, but in my stoned state I wandered around picking up shoes and putting them down. I just couldn't make a choice. I was more concerned that everyone was looking at me.
More importantly, I was feeling hungry again.

1.30pm

For lunch, I did something that, as someone who hates fast food, I'd never normally do. I went into McDonald's and stuffed down a half-pound-combo and fries. Somehow it felt wrong - but I didn't care. Back on the bus home, the effects of the dope had worn off and I couldn't believe I hadn't bought any trainers.

Even worse I was really annoyed that I'd eaten the disgusting hamburger and hadn't gone for my run.

2.30pm

After another spliff at home I watched TV for some time - a boring old film I thought was rubbish - then late afternoon I went out to meet friends for a drink.

The reason I don't normally smoke before going out is that it makes me quite withdrawn and antisocial, and today reminded me of that. I just sat there sipping a Jack Daniel's and Coke in a cool bar wishing they'd all stop talking so much and so loudly.

If anyone asked me a question, I could barely be bothered to answer it, I just wanted to go home and watch TV or listen to music. If I'd had my Walkman, I would have put it on.

Instead, I was sitting there listening to my girlfriends talking about blokes they fancied and their sex lives. Not having a boyfriend at the moment or feeling in the mood for looking for one, sex wasn't something I wanted to think about. When I had a regular partner, sex under the influence of dope was as it should be, relaxed and uninhibited, with great orgasms - not unlike having had a few drinks. But I'd noticed that it didn't have the same effect if I was with a guy I didn't know so well. I would feel incredibly shy and edgy despite the dope. I wouldn't be able to relax at all which did not make for a pleasurable experience.

6pm

After a few packets of crisps to stave off the inevitable munchies, I went home and got ready to go to the cinema. The effects of this afternoon's spliff were starting to wear off, so I smoked another half and went to meet some friends from work to see Return of the King.

I'd seen the other Lord Of The Rings films and knew how much more I'd get out of this one if I was stoned. I stocked up with popcorn, chocolate and a drink.

As soon as the movie started I was lost in the special effects; I felt I could understand everything about the characters, who seemed to leap out of the screen at me. The colours were more vivid, the sound more arresting and the action more spectacular.

Back at home the effect was wearing off so I smoked the rest of the spliff I'd started earlier and listened to music until around 2am. I was nicely relaxed and had the best sleep I can remember. When I woke next morning I felt great and ready for a run. With no dope to put me off, I was away in no time.

My conclusion is that there is no way I could smoke dope every day like some people I know. I couldn't cope with the lack of motivation and inability to make decisions.

Having said that, the occasional joint relaxes me like nothing else."