How I became a hands-on-healer

There have been days during the past year or so when I have felt utterly desperate. It's as if every aspect of my life has been dissected and I have been especially hurt by stories that infer my marriage and career are floundering. They're total rubbish.

You wouldn't mind if people could get their facts straight, but it's so frustrating to read complete fiction. Some days I look in the mirror and think, "I know who I am, I know what I stand for", and then I read about this person who isn't me, and feel that somewhere along the way the real Anthea - an optimistic, trusting person with a sense of humour - got lost in the mélèe.

But I have found a renewed inner strength by becoming a healer and learning the discipline of reiki. It has helped to confirm my belief that there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and even on my blackest days, such as when I realised my IVF treatments had failed, I kept thinking, "Perhaps, in the bigger scheme of things, it's all going to be for the best."

At other times I felt as though I was losing control, but then I forced myself to focus on all the good things in my life, such as my wonderful marriage, supportive husband, beautiful step-children, and great family and friends - and gradually I would let go of the bad stuff and try to regain control of my emotions.

For years I have found alternative therapies such as acupuncture and reflexology highly beneficial, and they help reduce feelings of stress - when I tore the ligaments in my leg after a skiing accident five years ago, these therapies helped speed up my recovery.

Earlier this year my reflexologist, who is also a reiki healer, suggested I should try the therapy, which is an ancient Japanese form of hands-on healing, in which the therapist acts as a channel for healing energies to pass through them and into the patient. I was incredibly sceptical, but have always tried to remain openminded, and so I gave it a try. The 30-minute treatment was really relaxing but, unlike acupuncture, in which you feel the needles and know that something is happening, I didn't feel a thing. My therapist explained that every living thing emits various frequencies, and when we are fit these frequencies are harmonic or healthy. But when we are stressed or ill, cells begin emitting unhealthy frequencies which, unless corrected, can trigger illness and disease. Apparently, these frequencies can be seen in our energy field, or aura, by sensitive individuals and specialist cameras. And healers simply channel harmonic frequencies into our energy fields that encourage the body to heal itself.

The scientific evidence was hard to take in, but on a down-to-earth level some of what she said made sense. After all, if a child or an animal has an accident, you instinctively cuddle them, stroke their injuries and try to comfort them. I call it love.

I never gave the healing another thought until after my fourth IVF treatment at the end of last year, which left me at screaming point.

Most people have no concept of what IVF involves. You are given fertility injections to encourage your ovaries to make more eggs. Then you return to hospital, are taken to an operating theatre and sedated, while a needle is inserted into the vagina and eggs are withdrawn. These minuscule eggs, which you cannot see with the naked eye, are placed in a dish and then fertilised - but they are part of you and you develop feelings for them, and pray really hard that one day they might become your very own child. After two days, the fertilised eggs are placed back into the womb and you take drugs that will hopefully help the egg to stay put and to grow. Then you wait.

But I now know that life is a lottery at times - after all, with IVF only 31 per cent of women become pregnant and only 19 per cent of those will go full-term and take a baby home. The hospital staff have been amazing during my five IVF treatments - but you can only take so much.

A doctor offered me Valium but after taking just one tablet I felt like a zombie, so I refused to take any more. Eating healthy food and working out have made me fairly disciplined and I enjoy feeling in control of my health - so having the Valium inside my body was abhorrent to me.

But those effects further increased my resolve to take back control - not only of my health but also my life. I so wanted to feel like my old self again.

By March this year, due to everything that had gone on in my life, I felt terribly low. So when my reflexologist suggested that I should go on a course and begin training as a reiki healer - because this is one of the few healing disciplines in which you can treat yourself - I agreed to give it a try.

Grant was initially sceptical about the whole thing, and although he also enjoys the occasional massage or reflexology, he is not quite so into alternative therapies as I am, but he felt that if reiki could help me get through the treatments, then he was all for it.

I attended an initial one-day course with a highly experienced and recommended reiki teacher in Midhurst, West Sussex. She explained that once we sit quietly and meditate, our minds act like receivers and become attuned or sensitive to the healing energies that are around us all the time. And with concentration and practice we are able to channel these energies through our bodies and into the patient or back into ourselves.

At the time, you think it's all a bit like mumbo jumbo, but after gaining my part-one certificate I began experimenting on myself and our two golden retrievers, Digger and Buddie, and my horse, Caramelo, who cracked his jaw and tore his mouth while playing with the latch on his stable door. We called the vet immediately, but while waiting I held his mouth between my hands, and he calmed down. When animals are badly injured things can get very nasty if they go ballistic, but he remained still and allowed me to give him healing and went on to recover quite quickly.

Then, last week, I fell quite badly and really hurt my knee. Before applying ice packs and witch hazel and taking arnica, I sat and calmly concentrated on my knee and placed my hands on either side of the injury. I could feel the heat emanating from my hands, and much to my surprise my knee did not even swell and there was no bruising.

Some people say that you need a certain amount of faith for healing to work, but horses, babies and even cancer cells have no concept of religion or faith as such. And there are thousands of studies showing that hands-on healing can and does have a positive effect, to varying degrees.

Obviously, I am an amateur, and some people are clearly more powerful at healing than others. It's like any new skill, the more you practise the sooner you improve. Meanwhile, I will return to complete the next stage of the training, as reiki has added a positive dimension to my life. I have begun following my own intuition more, rather than worrying so much about what others think. When I can, I spend time in a quiet spot, preferably in our garden, just listening to the sounds of nature and allowing my mind to let go of any anger that I might be feeling. The more I do this, the clearer my mind becomes, which has enabled me to refocus on what's really important to me.

I have learned not to judge myself or others so harshly. Some people might say I'm unfulfilled, because I'm not on primetime television right now, but today, thanks to the healing and the wonderful relationship I have with family and friends, I judge myself a success because I am content. I have no intention of giving up my career, as I love my work. My contract with Carlton Television ends next month, and after that I have various projects which I'm very excited about. Meanwhile I'm just going to continue working on remaining happy, healthy and grateful to be alive.

Interview by Hazel Courteney

For details of reiki healing courses or a list of qualified practitioners, send a large SAE to the Reiki Association, Cornbrook Bridge House, Clee Hill, Ludlow, Shropshire SY8 3QQ, or call 01584 891197. Website: www.reikiassociation.org.uk