Gabrielle's obsession danger

It's something of a minor miracle that Gabrielle, one of Britain's biggest and wealthiest singing stars, is in the midst of a comeback few could have predicted. She may have sold almost seven million albums and be listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the only female singer to debut at the top of the charts, but for the past three years the south London soul singer feared she might never perform again.

But with a new single - Ten Years Time - an album and an upcoming tour, she may have finally conquered the psychological disorder that not only consumed her life but seriously damaged her health.

Whenever Gabrielle was invited to a friend's house she was offered, like most people are, a cup of tea, a glass of water, maybe a little wine. Always, she declined, even in restaurants - not because she didn't want a drink to soothe her sore throat, which had left her parched and hardly able to speak, but because she had an uncontrollable, and indeed crippling, fear of using her host's bathroom.

"I know it sounds ridiculous," she confesses, perched on the edge of a sofa in the west London office of her record company, her long legs stretched out towards me. "But you have to understand that during that period of my life I was suffering from what I see now as such an appalling psychological state.

"I knew having this obsessive compulsive disorder was causing such bizarre behaviour - just thinking about drinking was enough to make me want to go to the loo - but I couldn't fight those thoughts and I allowed them to control me.

"And what's worse is that I knew this behaviour was potentially destroying my singing career. Doctors told me that my persistently sore throat, the reason I was unable to sing properly, was due to terribly dehydrated vocal cords and so ordered me to drink loads of water. But I tend to drink as little as possible so I won't have to use other people's loos."

No sooner had she tasted success with her debut single 11 years ago - her trademark eye patch from that period has since been replaced with dark glasses after she had corrective surgery on her "lazy" eye - than her life became a nightmare. Shortly after winning the first of her two Brit awards she was deserted by her partner Tony Antoniou, the day after she gave birth to their son Jordan in April 1995.

In a macabre twist, she next encountered him in court when he stood trial for the grisly murder of his own stepfather - beheaded by a Samurai sword and dumped in a lay-by - and she had to give evidence. "It was so horrific," she says.

The shocking event, for which the father of her child was sentenced to life in prison in 1997, left Gabrielle teetering on the edge of a breakdown. It prompted a cycle of obsessive compulsive behaviour and a bout of agoraphobia - she feared to even step outside her home in south London.

Her OCD - a condition shared by four per cent of the population - had worsened after Antoniou stayed at her house (while she was away) when on the run from police. Home security became an obsession, with Gabrielle constantly checking and re-checking the locks on her doors and windows.

She also became obsessed about hygiene and cleanliness, showering four times a day and constantly washing her hands. "The palms of my hands got so dried out they would actually flake, a skin condition brought on by obsessive washing."

At one time she could not leave the house without going through an elaborate ritual of checks and cross-checks. "I'd check the kitchen and the dining room in turn. I'd check the handles on the doors, and the window locks, and that the knobs on the cooker were facing the right way to check they weren't on. And I had to do it in the right order. If I forgot one of the things I couldn't go out until I'd done them all again; I couldn't break the chain. I didn't have any therapy because I didn't see it as a problem, I was just trying to feel more secure.

"Now I'm much more content - and free of those compulsions - but if those paranoid feelings returned I'd see a doctor immediately, instead of allowing myself to be consumed by it.''

Away from the pop world she is devoted to her "three little angels": her nine-year-old son Jordan and two small nieces she is raising as her own - eight-year-old Kireen and one-year-old Patricia, all of whom helped her through her trauma.

But when she went into the studio to record her new album at the beginning of last year she found to her horror that she could no longer sing. Doctors diagnosed the potentially career-threatening problem of throat nodules - exacerbated by her refusal to drink fluids outside of her own house - and she was ordered to take at least six months off. But almost a year later the problem remained. "I was very down. I thought it was the end of my career," she says.

Surgery was ruled out because doctors are reluctant to operate on singers - there is always a risk that the procedure might alter the voice, since the scar tissue thickens the vocal cords. Instead, they ordered her to rest her voice completely. "I wasn't allowed to call out to anyone. If the kids were in the next room and I needed them, I would have to go in and get them. There were times where I would be over-zealous with my laughter or someone would call me on the phone and my voice would go again.

"I can remember my birthday last year, going out for a drink and trying to speak over the loud music when I shouldn't have been talking - my voice didn't come back for a week and a half. I realised I couldn't really socialise. I even lost my voice on a photo shoot last year just from speaking to my stylist and make-up artist.

"All the specialists said the same thing - I had to drink loads of water, keep myself hydrated at all times, speak as little as possible and sleep as much as possible. I also had to change what I was eating because I was getting a lot of acid reflux, which damages the back of the throat and inflames the vocal cords. That meant cutting out sweet things and spicy things - all my favourites!"

It was not until last December - nearly a year after she was first diagnosed with nodules - that Gabrielle's voice recovered enough for her to return to the studio and complete her album, Play To Win, which has just been released. Her voice sounds deeper and richer, almost on the verge of cracking, which suits the subtle country flavour injected into her smooth soul sound.

"That's because most of the vocals were recorded when I had the nodules," she reveals. "By the time my throat got better we were so close to the deadline for the album that I didn't have time to record them all again."

"I've been through some difficult times but as I get older I realise it's not all bad and I'm not falling apart. When you break it all down, you realise you've got your life and you've got your health. That's all that matters," she says.

"Family life has always been my anchor. I love the music but they come first. At times I have felt that without them I just wouldn't have survived."