Do the white thing

Like many women, I tend to live in black during the winter months. But when the sun raises its head above the parapet black suddenly feels wrong, like being a goth on on a sunny beach. But what's the alternative?

The high street may be full of pastel hues, but not everybody wants to look like an ice-cream sundae. If I see one more sherberty-lemon vest top on the rails, I'll go off the rails.

Thank heavens, then, for white - the sensible choice for women who don't want to look like girls. Like black, it is a neutral, which means it's almost impossible to wear a colour that will clash with it.

Every woman knows that a well-chosen white garment makes you feel fresher, cleaner, more efficient and less hungover than any other shade in the spectrum - this latter quality being a particular advantage when the pub shrieks like a siren after work.

The question is: how white should you go? Unless you are a celebrity, a white trouser suit can look a bit affected, although a friend of mine once wowed guests at her own party in a devastating Dolce & Gabbana number. Only attempt this if you have a film to promote or are the birthday girl, though. More sensibly, buy a suit and wear the pieces separately.

For some reason, London's fashion crowd is going through a white-trouser phase: the wretched things are ubiquitous. I say wretched because they present such an underwear conundrum, although this seems not to bother anyone but me.

White jeans are an easier option, and if they're good enough for Plum Sykes, they're good enough for us. Of course, white trousers confer status. You don't get dirty: other people get dirty for you, like drivers and servants and nannies. You certainly don't get fat, for nothing is less flattering on the thighs.

If you're a grubbier, chubbier kind of gal, better to start off with a white jacket. Tricky to find undergarments for, it's true, but they look fabulous worn with a camisole or scoop-necked tee. On the catwalk, Jil Sander has some of the most gorgeous white jackets of the season: beautifully cut and not too boxy.

For the ultimate pair of white trousers, it has to be Chloe. Head here for elegant high-waisters that make a change from the belly-bearing aesthetic that is all around - then weep at the dry cleaning bills you'll have to endure all summer. White may be many things, but low-maintenance isn't one of them.