Dads keep mum about birds and bees

Mother still knows best when it comes to that moment when a child needs to talk about the facts of life, a new report shows today.

Fathers admit they take a back seat when tackling the tricky subject of sex. There is no such reticence on the part of British youngsters, however, who get their questions in before parents decide the time is right.

Six out of 10 children between the ages of 10 and 15 turn to their mother rather than their father with sensitive questions about sex and puberty, according to the report by Norwich Union Healthcare.

Girls have always done so traditionally, but twice as many adolescent boys prefer to approach their mother than their father.

The study, entitled Talking Puberty, says nearly half of youngsters bring the topic up before their parents decide it's time to talk. It also shows that sex, followed by death and drugs still tops the list of things parents find most difficult to discuss with their children.

Nine out of 10 adolescents have had sex education at school, but according to the report, a quarter admit they still do not know enough about puberty.

Leading psychologist Dr Aric Sigman advises that parents should work as a team when it comes to tackling the delicate subject. He says fathers may feel more comfortable providing the facts and general information in a discussion while the mother may provide the emotional and social context. "The research shows there is certainly a will but not always a way to discuss sensitive topics such as sex and puberty," he added. "Mothers are far more proactive at seeking out a time to talk and making themselves available for questions, and are generally better at reading a child's emotions. But fathers still seem to be in the dark.

"The average age at which children reach puberty is falling, particularly among girls. Recent statistics released by the Government show that in the past three years more than 400 girls under 14 conceived - so it is critical that parents take an active role in educating their children about puberty and life changes."

A total of 252 children aged 10 to 15 were questioned for the survey, together with 244 parents. Thirty eight per cent of the fathers admitted they had never discussed sex and puberty with their children, and three quarters of parents assumed their children would find out about puberty at school.

Nine out of 10 children thought their parents were good role models and 92 per cent believed they explained puberty well. Almost two thirds of parents described their family as open and communicative and nearly half the children agreed.

Norwich Union Healthcare communications manager Nicole Hockley said: "Our research shows families are more open and honest than ever before but parents still need help and guidance in broaching sensitive topics."