Burn, baby, burn

Jeff, a counselling manager, was staring out of the window at work one day when he realised with shock that he had 'burnt out'. 'I was gone. I wasn't really present. I was a ghost of myself behind some thick glass.'

Jeff isn't alone. In The Joy Of Burnout, Dina Glouberman explains how a frenetic, stressfuelled lifestyle like his can suddenly grind to a halt.

Classic signs of burnout are: a deep exhaustion that sleep can't fix, a feeling that meaning has drained out of life but you are too weary to do anything about it, being annoyed because everyone else is doing things too slowly, suffering constant health problems, or an increase in addictive escapes like alcohol, sweets, drugs, casual sex or watching TV.

Ignoring the warnings

Often, it's a long process in which warning signals are continually overridden. Sue Townsend, Glouberman's extreme case study and author of the Adrian Mole books, worked herself hard, without looking after herself until she had a heart attack at 39.

She kept on working, finding herself crippled with back pain but felt unable to give up her responsibilities. Eventually, she had haemorrhages in her eyes which pared down her life. One reaction to her now near blindness was a feeling of liberation. 'The only way I could get relief for myself was for my body to break down. It was the only way I could get any rest without guilt.'

Burnout shouldn't be confused with depression and its associated feelings of failure or loss. Burnout is a more profound disappointment in meaning, love or our own usefulness in the world. In fact, the types of people who burn out are the ones who continually drive themselves forward and who are, like Jeff, highly competent, talented and remarkable people who invest too much energy in work or a relationship before the situation changes and they plough on until crisis point.

So where does the joy kick in? Glouberman sees burnout as a wake-up call and a process of renewal where you rise from your own ashes. She advises building a 'soul community' of people who love and support you for who you are and not for your role and tapping into your imagination to find out what would really make you happy. 'You cannot drive yourself forever on the wrong path without stepping back and finding out if it reconciles with your own truth.'

Finding happiness

In this way, burnout becomes a necessary experience with its own rewards including a rediscovery of joy. Sue Townsend says: 'Before it seemed like an indulgence to be happy, something flabby, indulgent and sickly. And now it seems - almost kind of a reversal - it doesn't seem extraordinary, just part of daily life, just the simple things.'

And to those who argue that burnout is a malaise of an indulgent Western society, Glouberman responds: 'I think burnout is happening at this time in history because we believe we have more choice and we have a right to life with meaning. We come up against the reality of our job, our relationships, ourselves which aren't perfect and we become disillusioned. People often think we are burning out because life is more stressful and more is expected of us, but I think it's because we expect more from life.'

The Joy Of Burnout by Dr Dina Glouberman, Hodder Mobius. To order your copy at the special price of £6.50 inc p&p (normal rrp £7.99) call 0870 755 2122 and quote offer code BSH075. www.joyofburnout.com