BP staff caught having sex on CCTV

It is Britain's biggest company and last week was lambasted for making £1million an hour profits.

But some, it turns out, have been busy finding ever-more ingenious ways to have sex in the office. According to a memo leaked to The Sun, staff members have been caught furthering inter-departmental relations on CCTV. The employees - no doubt from the exploration and drilling division - are said to have had sex in showers, lavatories and meeting rooms.

They have now been reported to Health and Safety at the company's London HQ (presumably not only because they weren't wearing a condom).

A memo to managers said: "Some areas of the office are covered by CCTV. Whilst this hasn't been any use whatsoever in identifying people nicking bits and bobs, it has highlighted that a number of staff have been having sex in the office.

"This proved of great excitement to the security staff who monitor footage. Faced with a view of the stationery cupboard and a view of two people going at it in a meeting room, guess which one they chose to watch."

One angry driver said of the oil giant: "They've been ****ing Britain's motorists - now they spend the rest of the time ****ing each other."

The minutes of a health and safety meeting identified popular sex venues at the company's complex in the City. They include the purple soft seating behind the cabinets at Broadgate, the showers at Finsbury Pavement and the nooks and crannies of the fourth floor at Pinners Hall.

A BP spokeswoman said of the memo: "It was one of a number of humorous comments to draw attention to serious issues."

In one corner of EC2 at least, the world energy crisis is still a long way off...