Being single in the city

New figures released last week reveal that 30 per cent of Londoners are now single. We asked three women who grew up in different decades how they feel about going solo, how they meet men and their plans for the future.

VENETIA WICKHAM, 20, lives in Battersea and is studying philosophy at University College London. She has been single for six months

I haven't had a serious relationship yet, just short flings. I met the men through friends, at university. We'd meet at parties, have a snog, maybe go out a few times; that's how the English date, very casual and usually alcohol-fuelled. I've never been taken on a proper date; I'd like a man to ask me out to dinner, then meet up a few times without any pressure to kiss him, just get to know each other first, more like the Americans.

I recently joined a dating agency on the internet, called Dateline. I wanted the opportunity to meet men outside of my group of friends; someone a bit older, with a job, ambition and a bit of money wouldn't go amiss.

Students can't afford to take each other out for dinner, male students don't even buy you a drink. There is an element of risk with internet dating as this particular agency doesn't vet you. Dating agencies aren't seen as being for losers any more, but are more a way of meeting people and socialising. They are being adapted for special age groups and types; they're not just about lonely 50-year-olds.

I don't want to get married yet, I'm not even looking for a serious relationship, just some fun. No one my age is in a serious relationship, we're not even thinking about it. We want to finish university, have careers, date men. It will be at least another eight or nine years before I want to get married. I do assume I will fall in love one day, and have children. but if I'm still single when I'm 30, I would start to panic a bit.

Now, there's no pressure. I don't sleep around, it's just not my style, but even if I did, no one would judge me; everyone should be allowed to do what they want. The good thing about meeting men through a dating agency is you know they haven't got a girlfriend, nor are they on the rebound. If Dateline doesn't work out for me I'll join another agency.

SAM TAYLOR, 30, lives in Balham and has been single for 18 months. She was a director at Holmes Place gym for 10 years and is now planning to set up her own business.

Like many 30-year-olds I spent much of my twenties in a relationship - we talked about marriage but never made the commitment. He ended it and, suddenly, I was 30 and single. It was like, "Oh, what just happened?"

Half of my friends were married and had children - you don't notice how much your friends are changing when you're in a relationship. Recently, I've also been made redundant. Everything has changed in my life, but I'm excited not scared - my life has opened up again.

I've had lots of relationships since splitting up with my ex-boyfriend - and they've all been great for what they were. Some were just dinner dates; others lasted a couple of weeks or even a couple of months.

I don't go in for casual sex any more - when you're over 30, there's something undignified about it. I'm not attracted to men who are tarts and I think the same applies the other way round. Not that I'm against casual sex but it can complicate matters. And if you're not having sex, you can date two people at once.

Ultimately I want a family and I don't make a secret of that when I meet men, but I also make clear I want to wait for the right person. I'm pickier now.

Men do believe all that desperate thirtysomething rubbish. I dated a personal trainer for two months last year and it was quite intense. Then he gave me the "I don't want to get committed" line. Two weeks later he rang to say he'd made a mistake but I didn't want to know. In my twenties I wouldn't have had the strength of mind to do that.

Lots of my mates are still single; we look good, go out to bars and clubs, get asked out a lot. I've met some really nice men through Gorgeous Get-togethers, a lifestyle networking agency. And having a career helps; you meet new people and I'm not just focused on my love life.

I believe in love and it will happen when it's meant to. I'm not cynical about men and I don't mind waiting to have children. I'm happy with my life. Once you start losing faith, that's when you get desperate, not because of how old you are.

AYSHA AZIZ, 40, lives in Palmers Green with her three children, aged 15, eight and six. She has been married and divorced twice and runs her own hairdressing salon

I broke up with my last husband four years ago - it was for all the usual reasons but I felt emotionally scarred for a while, and scared of getting involved again. Then, last summer, I suddenly thought, I'm ready.

My brother said I should go and look for the right man, not wait for them to come to me. I've got a very wide circle of friends, have a good social life, go to clubs and bars, but the men who tended to ask me out on dates were just young idiots, with a fixation for an older woman.

I did briefly date a policeman but when he realised I had three children, I didn't hear from him again.

I don't want to get married again but I do want to have a partner, someone to share the rest of my life with.

My mother died in January and I thought, God, life's too short, I might only have 20 years left and I want to be happy. So four months ago I joined a dating agency, called Sirius.

It's for professional people. I would like to find a man who wears cuff links and Churchill shoes, who is confident
and successful, not a leech.

I've been on two dates so far - both were disasters. One was so shy he could hardly talk, another was too old (I want to find someone aged between 35 and 45).

One man who contacted me was a teacher; he looked nice from his photo, did t'ai chi, but when he rang to arrange a meeting, he said could we go to a museum, so if the date didn't work out at least he wouldn't have wasted his time! Can you imagine?

I feel a lot happier though just for trying. I've started going to the gym again, I get my bikini-line waxed regularly and have lost weight, so that I feel more confident; my friends are always complimenting me on how great I look these days.

Even though I've never had a really good relationship, I'm not cynical, I believe that I'll fall in love again ... I hope so, anyway.

I'd like to be treated like a lady again, taken out for dinner. Actually, I did meet this really special Irish man last weekend at a party...