It was revealed he had spent much of the past 10 years in India and became openly gay after splitting from his wife. Distraught relatives of Mr Messitt spoke for the first time as Joseph Sheehan, 37, a waiter from Camden, was due to appear today at Highbury Corner magistrates' court charged with his murder. Mr Messitt's brother Desmond, 57, said: "I just can't accept this has happened. Brian spent a lot of his time in India. He led an alternative lifestyle."