Alliance privates parade for cameras

It was part Dad's Army, part Sergeant Bilko as Afghanistan's Northern Alliance assembled its troops for a grand parade outside this town, 35 miles north of Kabul. On a hillside in full view of the Taliban dug in 10 miles away across the Shamali valley, the Alliance showed off every man, tank and gun it could scrape together. The parade was aimed at American TV viewers as the Alliance struggles to persuade Washington to join hands in battle against the Taliban.

American air strikes over the past week have destroyed the Taliban's long-range artillery, we were assured, making such a parade completely safe. Army vehicles in all shapes and sizes were gathered - all of them remnants of the Soviet occupation which ended in 1989. The effect was more like a D-Day enthusiasts convention than a military parade.

Some cocksure warlords showed up riding jeeps with heavy machine guns mounted on tripods in the back. Utterly useless for war, but great to look at. In a reversal of fortunes that seemed completely appropriate, a tank recovery vehicle broke down and had to be towed away by a tank. Confusion extended to the name of the parade. Some officers insisted this was the Martyr Masood Manoeuvres, named after the warlord assassinated by Osama bin Laden's men. Others said it was called the Infantry Hindu Kush Parade.

In front of the vehicles stood the men - more than 2,000 members of the Zarbati, or "shock troops". They would certainly have shocked a British sergeant major.

When the last tank and jeep had found a place to park, the white-bearded president, Burhanuddin Rabbani, rose to speak. Unfortunately, a dust storm had by now whipped up, carrying his words away. "If you cannot beat the Taliban, nobody can beat them," he thundered.

Attention then shifted to the sky as a B52 made a series of passes, dropping bombs on Taliban positions, a reminder to everyone about who really calls the shots in this war.

It was then time for military manoeuvres. "We will simulate an attack on the hill behind us. Imagine Bin Laden is at the top," bellowed an officer. Armoured personnel carriers scooted around, guns blazing away at piles of stones. Red tracer bullets and cannon rounds zinged and careened in all directions. "Please, you should kneel down, for your own safety," a soldier told the watchers. We needed no second bidding.

At the end of the exercise the only road out was blocked with armour, trucks, jeeps, press vehicles and donkeys - military police being one of many service arms still to find a place in the army of the Northern Alliance.

But it had all been good fun, and with luck those B52s will have annihilated the Taliban in the valley long before the Zarbati are required to attack. As my jeep struggled through the jam, I was reminded of Wellington talking about his soldiers on the eve of the battle of Waterloo. "I don't know what effect these men have upon the enemy but by God, they frighten me."