Airlines order: drop the jokes

Holidaymakers are being told to cut out sarcastic jokes about security at airports - or face being banned from flying.

As millions of Britons prepare to take a bank holiday break, airlines are warning passengers not to be "clever" when they reach the check-in desk.

Several people have been prevented by security staff from boarding planes in recent months after making jokes about carrying guns or bombs in their luggage. Last month an Iraqi sea captain was charged after he allegedly quipped that he had two bombs in his briefcase at Teesside airport.

The "threats" have also caused alarm at East Midlands airport in Leicestershire, where they have led to security alerts.

A sick sense of humour is not the only thing preventing people from leaving the country.

Airlines are also telling holidaymakers to check their passports are legible - and warning them not to steal from airport shops.

Thomas Cook, one of the biggest holiday carriers, said it has seen a surprising number of passengers refused travel because their passports have been put through washing machines, chewed by a dog or stained by nail varnish.

The travel company also reported a rise in the number of people who have been arrested at their departure gates after being caught stealing from shops at the airport.