Addicted to lap-dancing

I try hard not to go to lap-dancing clubs more than three times a week, even though I want to. Often I have to hold myself back and say "enough". Some nights I try to take my mind off it by working late or going out with the boys elsewhere, but recently I went to Sophisticats, a lap-dancing club in Mayfair, five nights in a row. I live nearby, in a flat overlooking Regent's Park, so it's really rather handy.

It makes me feel like a king to be sitting there with all those women surrounding me, giving me loads of attention. Nothing beats the thrill of calling a girl over, sitting her down and talking to her, knowing that if you give her money then she's going to take all her clothes off.

It's great to have that kind of control, that power, and it's an ego boost to have girls competing with each other to dance for you.

I'm a property-development investor in the City and work for the family company. Although I earn close to £250,000 a year, and drive a BMW, I still have to watch how much I spend. You can easily end up with a £5,000 tab at the end of a night out; my last monthly bill came to £30,000. Still, I can put a lot of it down as company expenses because I'm often entertaining clients - table dancing is definitely good for business.

My parents really don't mind, although I've never been able to persuade my dad to come along. And I'm happy to go to there and spend extortionate amounts of cash because the girls are so fantastic, really gorgeous. Even if I was broke I'd still find a way to finance my visits because the urge would still be in me. Nothing would stop me.

My obsession started four years ago. I was hooked after my first visit. I'd been invited to a lap-dancing club for a friend's 21st birthday party. Three beautiful girls came up to our table: "We've been dancing for old men all evening. Can we dance for you now?" they said. That was what kicked the whole thing off for me. It was such a thrill, I can't really explain why - they just sent shivers down my spine. It wasn't long before I was going as often as I could.

Not surprisingly, my girlfriend disapproved. We had been going out for two-and-a-half years, but we split up in August. It's only beginning to hit me now. Our relationship started going downhill about 18 months ago. I was at Spearmint Rhino one night and I had left my mobile on the table while I went to the bar. My girlfriend rang and unfortunately a dancer called Peaches answered the phone. She was livid as I hadn't told her I was going lap dancing.

At first I used to be upfront about where I went but she started to complain. She'd say, "Look, you're there three times a week. Why has it come to this? Aren't I good enough for you?" I understood why she was upset. The thing is, it wouldn't be the same if your girlfriend danced for you. I'm not saying that she wasn't attractive, but I go to the clubs to see different women, experienced dancers, who really turn me on.

I'd never go out with a lap dancer and I don't make friends with the girls - that would ruin the thrill. Watching these girls dance naked is something I have to do for work, but I enjoy it. It's my life.

I've always had lots of girlfriends and don't have a problem chatting them up; that is not the reason I go to clubs. I'm not shy or insecure, sometimes I'll spend all night talking to a few of the girls. But having a girlfriend and going lap dancing shouldn't be mutually exclusive; I don't really see why I can't do both.

We are never allowed to touch the girls and that is part of the appeal. You wouldn't believe the anger and frustration that builds up inside you. It grips your throat. You really want to touch them and hold them and hug them. I've seen men lose it and reach out and grab one of the girls, but I know the boundaries.

I enjoy seeing my clients watching a girl dance, seeing their faces light up, especially when they haven't experienced anything like it before. Drink plays a big part in the experience, obviously. On an average evening I buy several bottles of champagne and pay for around 15 dances, each costing £20 a pop.

People tell me it's all just a fantasy, but I don't like to think of it that way. I like it when the girls say nice things. Usually they compliment me on the way I dress, and it's easy to believe them (I think I do dress very well). The very best dancers make you feel special, that they are attracted to you and love dancing for you. That's what keeps you coming back.

However, when I get to the end of the week and realise what I've spent, I look at the bills and I do feel a bit guilty. Still, I'm happy to hold my hands up and admit that I've got an addictive nature and lap dancing taps into that side of me.

I see myself as a pretty normal guy. There are lots of other men just like me at the club. I want to settle down by the time I'm 30, get married and have children. But it would have to be with someone who could understand and accept my love of table dancing. And I wouldn't mind my kids knowing that I go to table-dancing clubs; I'd want them to know what the real world is about.