A guide to wedded bliss

Couples planning civil weddings are being offered pre-marriage courses as part of a Government-led bid to cut divorce rates.

Could it mean Lord Irvine - whose department is backing the scheme - sees himself as an authority on matrimony?

Until now, only those tying the knot in religious ceremonies have been able to receive formal advice to help them through married life.

Most people, of course, happily make do with a few words of wisdom from mum and dad.

But spiralling divorce rates and a boom in register office weddings has prompted the pilot scheme, backed by £300,000 of public money.

The Lord Chancellor's department is currently funding schemes in Somerset, Bristol, Totnes, Guildford, York and Poole in an initiative on marriage and relationship support.

So far, only a small number of couples have taken the short courses. But, if successful, the project could be expanded nationwide when the oneyear pilot period ends in March.

Critics claim such courses 'state the obvious' and are a waste of money. But they have been successful in saving marriages abroad and, it is claimed, couples who go on them are 80 per cent less likely to divorce within five years.

As a number of Cabinet ministers have had broken marriages and tangled relationships, the fact that Government cash is funding the courses may be seen as ironic.

Take Lord Irvine, himself. In 1970, he started a relationship with married Alison McNair, who left the late Scottish First Minister Donald Dewar for him. The couple married three years later, but friends said Mr Dewar was heartbroken and never loved another woman.

His friendship with Lord Irvine had begun at Glasgow University and he found it hard to forgive the betrayal.

Nick Seaton, from the Campaign for Real Education, said: 'I would say the Government is not very good at giving this sort of advice.

'It appears to be largely common sense and seems a complete waste of taxpayers' money if that's the best they can do.'

The content of the pre-marriage courses varies from area to area. But, typically, couples spend a day being taught a 'skills package'.

A counsellor discusses the do's and don'ts of marriage, highlighting the most common 'bad habits'.

They include 'withdrawal', in which a husband or wife withdraws from a discussion or situation to avoid a problem. Another bad habit is 'negative interpretation' - such as suspecting a man has done something wrong if he brings home flowers.

Couples are taught good habits which include working on ' communication skills'.

Both bride and groom must fill in a questionnaire of more than 150 questions, covering everything from friendships to sex.

They are then teamed with a married couple and go through the questionnaire discussing differences in answers.

A spokesman for the Lord Chancellor's department said: 'The Government's family law policy is directed at minimising, as far as possible, the harmful consequences of family and relationship breakdown - especially for children.'

She said this included the 'effective development and dissemination of best practice in the field of marriage and relationship support'.