Young at heart

Most high-profile restaurant openings in the capital are aimed at those with deep pockets or expense accounts. This means that they're either very suity or middle-aged. Of course, I love this: it makes me feel like a gorgeous, young thang.

Sadly, really gorgeous young thangs can rarely afford an outing to the hottest new venue - unless treated by a benevolent, erm, uncle.

So they should be thrilled by the arrival of Cafeteria, brought to us by John Torode of Smiths of Smithfield renown. Located in just-edgy-enoughtodeter-the-stuffies Ladbroke Grove (the scuzzier end, opposite the Tube), with its brash, diner neon and lowering doorman, it's designed in every way to exude a youthful demeanour.

Take the decor, for instance. It's a cavernous space, formerly a branch of Belgo, with a lofty, stepped roof like a mini Sydney Opera House. Ethereal spun fibreglass lampshades drift in an imperceptible breeze. There's nothing here to attract your Michelin groupie: rough oak tables are linen-free; chairs are Eames white plastic; in a deliberate piece of irony, shelves are stacked with Heinz ketchup and other iconic condiments.

To divide up the size, a massive duck-egg lacquered monolith, which looks a bit like the skeleton of some deep-sea monster, has been installed. I thought it worked remarkably well, but it's not what you'd call cosy.

Then there's the menu - a comprehensive collection of food's greatest hits, a hymn to comfort food, a deliberate avoidance of the challenging. For anyone intimidated by trotters, chitterlings and bottarga, it comes across like a familiar old friend. Think of a dish you like to eat when feeling peaky, and chances are you'll find it here - fishcake with hollandaise; prawns and mayo; eggs Florentine; unmucked-about-with grills; steak sandwiches; cottage pie; there's even meatloaf with onion gravy. The cocktail bar serves dim sum, in case you should worry about any base remaining uncovered. You can have breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner... well, you get the picture.

What we ate was unlikely to set the world on fire, but it was mostly pretty sound stuff. Salt and pepper squid had just the right combination of give and spring, plus a nice astringent blast of coriander - fittingly (for the surroundings), it came with bottled sweet chilli sauce. But the duck salad, which was supposed to be dressed with Thai herbs, pomelo and green papaya, was a limply underpowered affair, not packing the required punch and necessitating a lengthy game of hunt-the-duck.

The date whinged about her sterling grilled lamb chops - there were herbs in the onion gravy! Sacrilege! I thought them excellent. And the fresh mint sauce was terrific. With its delicious, medium-rare beef (Torode's commitment to organic produce and sympathetically reared meat is extended to Cafeteria), tangy English cheddar and pungent Old Spot bacon, a 10oz 'Big Boy' burger put a big smile on my face. The bun was good, the pickles and slow-roast tomatoes were good. Small complaint: a too-low griddling temperature left it lacking the requisite oh-so-desirable burnt, crusty exterior.

After tucking all this away, a pudding wasn't really an option, but we went for one anyway - a stodgy (in a good way) sticky toffee and walnut pudding with a jug of gorgeous, homemade custard, which was creamy, light and flecked with vanilla.

Waiting for my date, I'd sipped my immaculate Grey Goose Martini, served swiftly and professionally by one of the many smiling members of staff, and surveyed my fellow diners. Nope, not one over 30. And many of them with that beast of a burger clamped in their mitts.

So, OK, Cafeteria's not for the fogeys or the foodies, but it's still damn good fun.

Cafeteria
124 Ladbroke Grove, W10 5NE