Where to go for Mother's Day

For years I never got it right with my mother. When she came to stay, I'd organise a smorgasbord of improving events that involved haring around London.

I'd be barking instructions ("Don't sit down it's only two stops", "No, you cannot go home and change your blouse") and she would be looking increasingly nervous.

One Mother's Day, I kid you not, I arranged lunch in a sculpture garden on the Walworth Road, followed by a gallery in Kensington, then a play at the Young Vic and supper at a tapas bar.

Madness. Geographically and emotionally. Halfway through the day I lost it at Earl's Court Tube station. I couldn't work out how you got onto the other branch of the District line. My mother looked on bemused as I sat down and sobbed: "I just want you to have a good time!"

Things are calmer now. I'm still ambitious for her to have a good time but it involves doing a lot less.

Ask yourself a few basic questions. Do you want to spend the day in town? Will your mother be on her own? And then, most importantly: what does she love doing, not what you think she ought to love doing. Remember, mothers absolutely adore a tea with dainty sandwiches, scones, clotted cream and cake. So build the rest of the day around it.

Mothers who live outside of London can be tempted to get the earliest possible train (for Supersaver offers). Arranging afternoon tea means you meet them at a more civilised hour.

If your mother is London-based, she will be harder to impress because it's her city, too. Start with something lovely and swanky. Fortnum & Mason (181 Piccadilly, W1; 020 7734 8040) is catnip for mothers. You can shop, gossip over knickerbocker glories at the Ice Cream Bar or eat a sophisticated lunch in the refurbished Fountain restaurant.

Then nip over the road to Ladurée (71 Burlington Arcade, W1; 020 7491 9155) and buy her your body weight in macaroons.

Or if it's a very proper afternoon tea you want, Claridges (Brook Street, W1; 020 7629 8860) serves it in the Art Deco foyer (reservations essential). It'll set you back at least £30, but champagne is included.