This sexy cocktail won't mix

The press release gave rise to mixed emotions. A Brigitte D'Angelo-designed, multi-roomed drinkerie situated on the bewilderingly bar-bereft King's Road? Promising. Service delivered by 'stunning all-female bar-staff' clad in 'ultra-sexy uniforms courtesy of Virgin Lingerie'? My companion's conjecture - that I was treating him to a night at Spearmint Rhino - did little to allay concerns.

First impressions, however, were favourable: an inconspicuous annexe of the garish Henry J Bean establishment, detectable only by its intimidating door presence, the apartment-style environs tick off many of the boxes on the 'potential style-bar superstar' checklist: striking artwork, impressive architectural features, a working fireplace and countless comfy leather sofas to sink into after a hard day's splurging.

The service, however, was seemingly an exercise in ineptitude. Cocktails - which took an age to arrive - were expensive and distinctly average at best. And food - in the form of 'de luxe canapès' costing an astonishing £22.50 for a chef-selected tray of ten - a mostly unpleasant experience rendered all the more unedifying by our waitress's admission that she had 'no idea' what any of the grease-saturated morsels were.

A complaint about the state of the gents' toilets (revolting enough to put my steel-stomached accomplice off his vodka) was ignored, a request for vegetarian canapès 'overlooked' and our drinks order confused more than once. Time to revise the recruitment policy?