The gothic grill

'This is how it works. You build your own meal,' explains our maitre d'. A conceit I can live without, but doubly so when the selection of starters, such as ravioli, mackeral (sic) merguel (sic) or a pint of prawns, is so limited. We splash out on soft shell crab. At £12 a pair, these tiny paprika-dusted beasts would have been a flabby, watery disappointment at half the price.

Much better were our main assemblies, chosen from a good range of surf-and-turf grill options, which included marlin, swordfish, monkfish and T-bone steak and a perplexing array of garnishes and sauces. A robust tuna steak, salsa verde and green beans with walnuts, and tender organic lamb with red onion and perfect fat chips were let down only by their over-ambitious price tags.

But there's what looks like an expensive room-fit to cough up for here and, while the layout is a sensible use of limited space, the decor, sadly, is a waste of space.

With aubergine walls (so over) and matching silk panels, crushed velvet, ugly candelabra, naff gilt mirrors and some chairs which look like a job lot from Argos, it feels like the Changing Rooms crew does designer Goth in Godalming.

Ignoring this decor no-no, we nevertheless linger over the good by-the-glass wine selection while date imparts details of her Sardinian sun-lounger close-up with a certain Mr Beckham. But with the damage working out at £85 for two, Exmouth Grill turns out, like the England captain, to be an expensive and fairly ordinary player.

Exmouth Arms
Exmouth Market, London, EC1R 4QL