Going Out | Restaurants

Ten signs you're pished

Nicole O'Neil|Staff Reporter
10 April 2012

Why does the world turn up the volume when you've had a few beers, the stairs start moving all over the place and your memory acts like it's trying to remember something that happened ten years ago rather than last night? Here are ten signs that you're quite probably, in fact mosht shertainly, drunk.

  • 1: You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
  • 2: You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
  • 3: Your job is interfering with your drinking.
  • 4: Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
  • 5: 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?? I think not!
  • 6: Two hands and just one mouth...now THAT'S a drinking problem!
  • 7: Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
  • 8: At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
  • 9: The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in.
  • 10: You're as jober as a sudge.

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Alcohol
Beer
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Spirits (alcohol)