'In that case,' she said, motioning towards my jacket pocket, 'you better put the spoon back.' (Tom Aikens recently hit the headlines when he accused one of his customers of stealing a spoon.) She was joking - honest, guv - but, unbeknown to either of us, the chef himself had materialised by our table and had overheard the whole conversation. Luckily, he was far too polite to tell me to turn out my pockets.