Spicy Indian cocktail

If I were to be born again, I'd happily relinquish this pasty pork, untroubled-by-the-sun Northern oik image that I have suffered since childhood. If I could choose my parents - and who hasn't harboured such a dream at some point? - I would probably opt for a couple of hapless twits (on the basis that they'd need to be to want me as their son) from the Indian subcontinent. Their offspring, you see, tend to be annoyingly goodlooking, and rarely overweight - physical attributes for which I was clearly in the wrong queue in the genetic pool.

Bollywood has never been more fashionable than it is at the moment, and the new cocktail bar at the front of Yatra restaurant is at the epicentre of one of London's trendiest scenes. The room is a sleek, comfortable affair, sporting colourful organza drapes and a mix of casual couches and formal seating. Happily, they've been restrained in their use of Indian artefacts.

As a place to meet for a quiet natter over a few cocktails and some delicious Indian snacks, there can be few better places in Mayfair than Yatra. Aside from the decidedly pedestrian beers of Stella Artois and Budweiser (why?), Cobra is worth having (all beers £3.50), but playing with the cocktail list is a pleasurable pastime.

We tried a Bollywood Bust (£7), a happy mix of champagne, citron vodka, Chambord and fresh lemon and lime juices, and the Bollywoo Woo, with vodka, peach schnapps, Midori and cranberry juice, was dangerously easy to drink. But nothing can match the danger of the Long Aamir Iced Tea, a nine-ingredient cocktail with vodka, tequila, white rum and gin. Don't drink it, just stare at it like you would a bowl of radioactive evil waiting to spill its poison and do its damage.

We ordered a mini-feast of snacks which included prawn crackers, fish tikka, lamb or chicken kebabs, paneer pakora (deep-fried soft cheese) and seasonal vegetables marinated with spices and yoghurt (£6.50 each) - six different snacks fed four of us handsomely.

Table service is crisply efficient, almost cold. If the staff could force a smile now and again they might give the impression that they enjoyed their work. Grimacing is my domain, and I happen to be very good at it. We enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.

But it's Bar Bollywood in the basement where the real action is. This is an outrageously fun subterranean pleasure playground for young-at-heart funksters who pack the place out and dance themselves silly to the very best of Bollywood numbers, Indipop, Punjabi MC, bhangra, R&B, garage, hip-hop and Arabic sounds. Thursday nights are Zee Music nights - a fusion of styles --and entry is £8, £4 before 9pm. And on Fridays (£10, £5 before 9.30pm) and Saturdays (£10 all night) DJs mix Bollywood tunes with hip-hop and R&B with Spanish and African-influenced music.

There's a happy hour every night, with half-price house spirits, beers and wines until 9.30pm, and you also get a free tequila slammer on entry on Friday and Saturday. As these are popular nights, it's advisable to try to get your name on the guest list. Call ahead to join the Bollywood beautiful.