Local eats in NW1

I've been a waitress. When I worked at Foxtrot Oscar I used to get regular scoldings from one of the owners, Michael, for being sullen with the customers. And I loved that job. When I worked at Holne Chase Hotel on Dartmoor, a job I hated, I was also sacked for being 'too grumpy'. When I worked in a gentleman's club full of pervy old buffers I was often accused of being 'joyless'. It takes great acting skills, waiting tables, because no matter how crappy you feel, the punter doesn't care.

I can understand, more than anyone, why no smiles, no eye contact, and no joy is the preferred service style of waiters and waitresses all over London. But it's still pretty inexcusable.

If the waitress in my local greasy spoon can muster the odd hello on a paltry salary and nil tips, then the waiter at Heartstone should be able to rustle up a bit of jollity. But he couldn't. I asked him whether I could take one of the photocopied menus home with me, and he gave me a very categorical, and frankly offensive, 'no'. You'd think, with Heartstone being one of the best places to eat health food in the whole of London, there would be warm vibes all round.

They burn incense, they serve meat from animals that have experienced more love than the average only-child, yet the waiter shows that he doesn't like you. It just doesn't add up.

Other than that, Heartstone is faultless, and I truly love it. You can't smoke there, which doesn't annoy, it just feels very Californian. There was a couple there eating, quite late, with a new-born baby in a Moses basket. Sometimes a smoke-free environment is a good thing.

We got cracking, me and the Dirty Blond (a keen smoker, yet even he relished the healthy vibe) on some of Heartstone's excellent fresh juices. He had a Rainforest - a combination of apple, celery, watermelon, fennel and mint -excellent for rehydrating a toxic body. I had a Sparkle - blood orange, pear and mint. I'd thought about the Wonderwoman, apparently great for PMS, but felt it was too much information for my dinner partner to digest with his alfalfa sprouts. Both went beyond the usual fresh-juice hit, and tasted zingingly delicious.

They have comfy, brown-velvet banquettes, and an art installation on the wall, which softly changes the lighting throughout the meal and felt very mellowing. The food here tastes healthy, which gives you an overwhelming sense of goodness and of achieving optimum nutrition without having to think about it.

The wine isn't just organic, it's biodynamic, and they bring you a jug of free filtered water without asking. I wish everywhere did this, instead of bringing you a bottle of water and charging you £4 for it. It is not often that eating and drinking can have the effect of making me feel pious as well.

A starter of squid, chorizo and rocket was good, the DB said as good as anywhere, with ten times the rocket. I had a sweet potato, lime, coconut and puy lentil soup, which had a wholesome, homemade taste to it. A bowl of chilli was more of a thick, blackbean stew with a crispy pile of tortilla chips, but warming and 'guilt assuaging', said the DB. My beefburger was damn tasty - the meat was beefy and clean-tasting. I was surprised they didn't ask me how I wanted it done but it was just great as it came, with a vast nest of salady bits and lots of sprouts and avocado.

The kitchen is open and so incredibly clean that it merits a mention. All the other punters had good skin and wore no make-up. If I ate here all the time I know I would look like that, too. I love Heartstone for making me feel like the sort of person I would be if I wasn't so toxic. Eating here is like going to church or getting all your homework in on time - only you are happily full and relaxed at the end of it.

Heartstone
106 Parkway, NW1 7AN