Give it a Tryst

Chelsea Party Animal's stretch of Fulham Road hosts a ragbag of pricey nightspots beloved of young Trinny and Susannah wannabes who will one day become Mrs Chinless-Bankers, with 2.4 brats each and 4x4s in their Barnes drives. Tryst is teeming with such creatures.

This new basement bar is a blue-ish shoebox affair, its dancefloor filled with girls in Uggs, while young bucks mob the perimeter.

The bar is washed by a waterfall lighting effect that makes me feel seasick. Our waitress also appears to be all at sea. 'Who ordered the Bombay Sapphire/Stoly?'

Not us. We drank thin-tasting cosmopolitans, well-presented martinis and an over-limed, throat-stripping Lemsip of a margarita, served without the essential salt rim.

'We haven't had time to get salt or olives in yet,' says mixologist, dismissing my suggestion that they do a quick blitz on the 24-hour store over the road.

A Russian couple dressed as Debbie Gibson and Morten Harket flail to a housey tune, while a florid-faced Sloane brays at the Turkish barman: 'What's this place called, mate?' Young Turk smiles: 'T.R.Y.S.T. Triste'. Well, you said it, and while Tryst doesn't put a smile on my face, junior Trinny Trannies will think it's - like, sooo kewl, ya?'

222-224 Fulham Road SW10. Tel: 020 7223 8822.

Tube: Fulham Broadway

Tryst
222-224 Fulham Road, SW10