Get lost with Gordon

It's not often I mention leaving a venue this early in a review, but my trip to Gordon Ramsay's newest restaurant and first bar operation was interrupted by a fire alarm that necessitated an emergency evacuation. I'd only had a single sip of my Cruz Campo beer and it cost four quid. I made sure I'd be back for that.

We assembled in the grassy square outside and enjoyed the early evening sunshine - some clever souls had brought their drinks with them. One elderly gentleman began to panic about his credit card which he'd left behind the bar, but I managed to convince him that looting is rare in Grosvenor Square, and that the firemen might have more pressing matters to attend to than to salvage his credit card.

I briefly popped over to see my old friend Brian Turner in his bar and restaurant at the Millennium Hotel on the other side of the square, and by the time I got back to Ramsay's, the firemen had left and my beer had been cleared away.

I meant to say something but another friend was waiting and by the time I'd explained the palaver I had another drink in my hand.

There are two individual bar-service areas, each surrounded by high, comfortable bar stools. The rest of the room is pleasant to look at but socially impractical, with furniture arrangements that look like studio sets for a tragic daytime TV chat show - fine if you like sitting in rows with your mates.

The drinks. Mumm champagne? Oh puh-lease, I can't think of anyone outside of a prison cell who'd thank you for a glass of that stuff, and at £9.50 a glass, Ramsay is being inappropriately optimistic with the pricing. Still, the It Girls who are likely to become devotees of this bar wouldn't want to find anything challenging on the menu.

Cocktails are expertly prepared - and at around £10 a throw you would expect no less - but I struggled to find one I wanted to drink.

I have no interest in the overpowering flavours of rhubarb, pomegranate or berry drinks, but I did manage to cut through the ocean of chaff and found a punchy Fig Sour (vanilla vodka with lime, lemon juice and figs).

Food in the bar is served tapas-style from a menu of 20 different plates and our helpful waiter said he'd ask the kitchen to prepare a selection of dishes for us. Fab idea, I said, but do tell them I'm allergic to molluscs, and that I rather like the idea of the tuna carpaccio. The tuna didn't materialise - the molluscs did.

The bill for three of us covering cocktails and tapas came in at £159.69, including service, which means that it will have to be a very special occasion for me to go back again. Still, it will probably do well - the public are interested enough in the Gordon Ramsay brand to assure its future.

Maze Grill
Grosvenor Square, London, W1K 6JP