Drink club class

To some, they appear a pointless idea. Why pay hundreds of pounds a year just to drink in a particular bar? A pointless idea that is, until it's 11.30pm on a week night and you're trying to find somewhere for a late drink.

A pointless idea until you arrange to meet work contacts for a drink and a chat, everywhere in central London is packed and noisy and you've not a hope in hell of getting a seat.

And this, friends, is where private members' clubs come into their own. At the very least you are guaranteed entry and a late drink - usually until at least 3am - and civilised treatment. At some you can reserve a table if you call ahead, others have dining rooms where you may eat any time of the day or night (within reason). If that's not enough to have you downloading an application form, read on...

The Hospital
With its own 40-seat cinema, recording studio, gallery, two cocktail lounges and renowned restaurant Origin, housed over seven floors of an 18th-century hospital building in Covent Garden, The Hospital is a media magnet. Owned by Paul Allen (co-founder of Microsoft) and ex-Eurythmic Dave Stewart, what else would you expect? Annual membership is £550 with a £150 joining fee, but under thirties qualify for reduced rates. Drinks: Lager £3.50, V&T £6.50
24 Endell Street, WC2 (020 7170 9100, thehospital.co.uk)

Fifty
The grand building and rather steep membership price betray the reality of Fifty - this is a members' club for those with bucks to burn. You'll find Salvatore's bar on the ground floor, run by the connoisseur of pricey cognacs himself, Salvatore Calabrese. The basement is home to the "Club Lounge" - the dancefloor area of Fifty, complete with a glass catwalk, chandeliers and table-service cocktails. But what the club is really known for is its casino, where the great and the good have gambled away their loot for centuries. Membership costs £750. There is no waiting list. Drinks: Lager £5, V&T £10.50
50 St James' Street, SW1 (0870 415 5050, fiftylondon.com)

Cuckoo Club
Sexy and swanky, the Cuckoo Club is a relatively new kid on the members' clubs block. With a restaurant on the ground floor and a bar/club in the basement, it's the hangout of rock royalty and fashionistas. Members can reserve tables for up to 15 people beside the dancefloor. The ground floor is home to a gold-coloured "snug" where you can drink the night away. You'll need to write a letter to the membership secretary explaining your reasons for wanting to be a member. If you're accepted, annual membership costs £500 and there's a six-month waiting list.
Drinks: Lager £5, V&T £8
Swallow Street, off Regent Street, W1 (020 7287 4300, thecuckooclub.com).

The Rex Cinema and Bar
The Rex with its 75-seat private cinema and Thirties Art Nouveaustyle bar, is a favourite hideaway of celebs. The club itself is pretty intimate, there's room for less than 200 people and the combination of velvet and candelight in the bar makes it feel even more so. Membership costs £250 but you need to be nominated by an existing member. Drinks: Lager £3.50, V&T £7
21 Rupert Street, W1 (020 7287 0102, rexbar.co.uk)

Ronnie's Bar
The hangout of 2007 - if you can get in. Ronnie's is the new members' bar above Ronnie Scott's famous Jazz Club in Soho. New owner, theatre impresario Sally Greene, has spared no expense with her refit and there's a roof terrace that will open later this year. With a capacity of only 150, Ronnie's won't be letting any old riff raff in. Membership costs £450 per year and is by committee approval only (Elton John's "husband" David Furnish is on said committee). You'll also need a reference from a founding member. Drinks: Lager £3, V&T £6.20
47 Frith Street, W1 (020 7439 074. ronniescotts.co.uk/about/bar)

The Phoenix Artists Club Random, characterful, always hilarious and definitely drunken. With bright lighting, bad music and bizarre bar snacks (Walkers crisps), the Phoenix is nothing if not unique. Frequented by theatre folk, writers, artists and comedians, it's one of the least pretentious places in Soho. Non-members can get in and stay for the duration before 8pm. Simply walk in, fill in a form and you're a member for the sum of just £75 a year.
Drinks: Lager £3.10, V&T £3.50
1 Phoenix Street, WC2 (020 7836 1077)

Soho House
When Soho House opened 13 years ago, it redefined members' clubs. Everyone, from celebrities to bankers, wanted to be a member of Nick Jones's club, which boasts a restaurant, several bar areas, screening rooms and accommodation for outoftown members. There are now outposts in Chiswick, Somerset and New York, a new club in Hoxton and Miami will open this year. It's still difficult to get membership - you have to be nominated by a member and vetted by a panel. Membership costs £600 a year, plus £150 joining fee.
Drinks: Lager £3.25, V&T £3.50
Soho House, 21 Old Compton Street, W1 (020 7734 5188, sohohouse.com)

The Groucho Club
The Groucho is shorthand for " somewhere to get drunk and behave badly in front of London's most influential people". The original and arguably still the best private members' club in London, it was opened in 1985 by a group of publishers who were sick of the city's "gentlemen's clubs" which refused to accept women as members. If you'd like to be a member, you've got to get one of them to propose you to the committee. Membership costs £600.
Drinks: Will not reveal prices...
45 Dean Street, W1 (020 7439 4685, thegrouchoclub.com)

A Blagger's Guide
Want a piece of the action without splashing your cash? It ain't easy. Your sweet smile and sexy swagger won't cut it with most door folk. After all, who'd buy membership if clubs were full of liggers like you looking for something for nothing?