City assembly line

Soda bread - alongside smoked eel, beetroot, walnuts and funky goats cheese - is simply one of my favourite things to eat.

I jumped to order smoked salmon with pickled cucumber and Irish soda bread from the Assembly's menu, then suffered triple disappointment when the bread was gooey, soft and flavourless.

Instead of a biscuity crust and moist, crumbly wholemeal texture, this Irish soda bread was like the last cheap, soft, cellophane-wrapped batch left in the corner shop. The cucumber had more flavours in it than the salmon could cope with, including wasabi and various herbs, but still, with the right bread this dish would have been a winner.

The Assembly's signature failing is this: nice idea, bad execution. Someone with good culinary instincts and skill had created the menu, but had not taught the people actually doing the cooking how to do the job.

The food was not that bad. I've frequently eaten far worse. It was buzzing with City types having informal lunches. It just promised so much more than it delivered.

There was a distinct lack of sensitivity to how food was prepared and cared for. Cheese had not been stored properly, showing signs of temperature shock. The bread was from the ready-made dough people who produce stuff that goes stale before your eyes. Fresh custard on a (good, solid) sticky toffee pudding had been reheated in a microwave until it curdled.

Kev The Chef took some herrings for a starter which he chose from the Swimmers' board of daily fish specials. The herring was spongy, watery and tasteless (quite a feat for a strong, oily fish). The ratatouille that came with it had hard green peppers in it. A savoury croute was a savoury hit parade of olive, cheese, sun-dried tomato and bacon - it could not fail to be compelling.

A simple poussin was fine, a little dry and the skin and jus disappointingly free of that great caramelised chickeny flavour. Duck was again fine, but lacking any birdy, gamey distinction. The rosti that came with it was a fright - pallid, squidgy grated potato, whereas it should be a crispy, fried potato fantasy.

The wine list is notably well-chosen for this end of the market. A glass of white rioja for £4 tasted better than an £8 glass in other places. The Swimmers' menu comes with suggested wines for each dish. Someone knows what they are talking about here - I only wish they'd let a few more people in on the act.

The Assembly
14-15 Seething Lane, EC3N 4AX