Camping out at the sales

Oliver Peyton! What have you done? I'm as much of a fan of kitschy campery as the next chap, but your bizarre new number in Heal's seems about as likely as Jodie Marsh in a little Jaeger number.

During frantic sales time, this should be a delicious refuge. And, indeed, it was sparsely populated when we visited.

I reckon this is down to bewilderment on the part of Heal's customers wandering happily through a forest of oatmeal sofas when - lo! - they stumble across what can only be described as Hansel and Gretel go mad with a fretsaw and a vat of pink paint.

You know, retrospectively I'm warming to the place. I liked the pared-down menu, a typically Peyton collection of Brit base-notes warmed up with a touch of Med and some magnificent baking. Peyton's cake nous is second to none.

Portions are generous: smoked salmon brought a giant plateful of butchly flavoured fish, perked up with plenty of capers and finely-sliced shallots. No bread, though. Lamb chops came with punchy salsa verde and a sludge of caponata (like ratatouille, but with aubergine and pine nuts). Macaroni cheese had a not-unpleasant retro, tinned mushiness to it.

Maybe the clue's in the name: Meals At Heal's. This is a clever restaurateur's idea of a joke. And I think I've just got it.

A meal for two with wine, water and service costs about £70. Heal's, entrance at 22-24 Torrington Place WC1. Tel: 020 7580 2522. Tube: Goodge Street