Barbie World

One of the things I perversely enjoy about the Great British Summer Weather is that its glorious unpredictability makes barbecues an occasional event rather than an everyday fact of life. I don't really enjoy being the cook in charge of a barbecue, rushing between the kitchen and the grill, looking hot and bothered, keeping an eye on huge chunks of blackened meat. I can't stop worrying that I am either charring the food or am about to poison my guests with meat that hasn't been cooked for long enough and has spent too long in the hot sun ('Six rushed to St Mary's after lunch with local food writer').

If you want to have a barbecue, my advice is threefold. One: don't buy premarinated meats - the chances are they'll smell and taste overseasoned and reek of acrid garlic. Two: do the bulk of your preparations, including making lovely delicate marinades, in the comfort and safety of your kitchen. Three: bag yourself a comfortable seat in the shade so that you can relax after your labours.

This barbecue menu for four people can be cooked indoors as well as outside. All the ingredients can be bought at any supermarket with a fresh meat counter. Make sure the pork ribs are nice and meaty, and while you are shopping, remember to buy bags of ice.

I haven't included a starter. To sustain your guests before the meal, make a quick tapenade by blasting together stoned green olives, a dash of chilli sauce, lemon juice, a little olive oil and anchovy paste. Serve with salted almonds, slivers of manchego cheese, mini crostini, cherry tomatoes and shelled cooked prawns (put these on a bed of crushed ice to keep them chilled and appetising).

Keep the drinks plentiful, varied and well chilled: Manzanilla sherry, sparkling water, cranberry juice, a young red Bourgueil wine, a favourite Sauvignon Blanc, and a selection of lagers or beers.