A model place for posers

The hostelry on the corner of Beaufort Street and King's Road was one of my earliest London haunts. In 1987, we'd hang out there drinking vodka, smoking, posing and willing the attention of reprehensible (slightly) older men.

In February of this year, I interviewed the owner's three brothers, all models and one of whom works behind the bar, and promised the phenomenally handsome trio that I'd be back as long as they promised me the Beaufort was a gastropub.

I returned with a chef who works nearby. The highlight came from the well picked and moderately priced (particularly for SW3) wine list. Chateau les Crostes rosé, known as the 'St Tropez rosé', is a light, summery and dependable way to drink pink.

Solids fared less well. Gazpacho tasted heavy, like passata from the carton, with not one distinguishing gazpacho-like feature and some shockingly tired, stale croutons on the side. Cheffy's goat's cheese salad had dry leaves, and equally dry cheese that tasted like it came from Sainsbury's - a negative, by the way. Service was somewhat distracted, but well meaning.

Cheffy took the steak - the menu did not specify what sort of cut it was. What arrived was a thin, minute steak looking like a bit of skinny flesh. 'It's arse,' he said, meaning from somewhere nearish the rump, 'and it tastes all right, as it goes.'

It had been cooked to a perfect pinkness. The nicoise salad was a whole can of flaky tuna crumbled over four baby gem leaves, four pieces of cubed potato and four green beans. A Dijon mustard dressing gave the whole thing a bit of whiz-bang in the mouth - not a disaster, but not strictly a nicoise, either.

If this is a gastropub, then it's at kindergarten level. The fish cakes and sausage and mash aren't ready for examination. Real-ale types will shudder. But for lovers of sticky cocktails, continental lagers, model barmen and posing, it hits all the spots.

And who should be sitting at the next table but one of those very same reprehensible (slightly) older men? The wheel of fortune had come full circle or, perhaps, it had stood still.

Beaufort House
354 King's Road, SW3 5UZ