A bit of an identity crisis

Artists are fond of supper, whether as inspiration, or just the camaraderie of eating and conversation. So, no surprise that the original East London stamping ground for contemporary British artists, Hoxton Square, is home to a variety of diners.

The Cube & Star is the newcomer on the block, replacing the Great Eastern Dining Rooms at 39A Hoxton Square. It's only three weeks old and already boasts an array of arty celeb diners, and it certainly thinks it is very popular. Last Thursday, the only time we could eat was 6.30pm.

Why is it called the Cube & Star? Who knows. Maybe because if you say it quickly, it sounds a bit like The Cuban Star, which would make sense, since it is "loosely" based on a Cuban theme. Done up with big monochrome shots of Cuban lovelies on the ceiling, there's a humidor for cigar smoking and we were given complimentary mojitos on arrival - but the waitress was keen to stress that the menu was only South American-themed.Well, so is Nandos.

We started with a couple of tapas. Mr Millard, who is something of a squid fanatic, had calamares fritos, which he announced were very disappointing. I had bacallo con garbanzos (salted cod), which was almost Biblical in its salt distribution.

Still, it was a sweaty night. We continued with a ceviche sharing plate, which was altogether delightful: tender shrimp, tuna, salmon and scallops, delicately marianated in flavours such as pico de gallo, coconut milk and citrus juices. Very subtle and utterly delectable.

It was now about 7.30pm and we were still the only people in the restaurant. Our main course was problematic. I prefer to eat veggie, but there were no vegetarian options. You'd think a restaurant charging £6 for starters and £14 for a main, not to mention the parking meter ticking away to 11pm (thank you, Hackney), could have come up with a non-meat option or three.

Anyway, I had crispy whole snapper which was overcooked and not crispy at all. It was stuffed with lumps of unidentifiable seafood whose texture and taste did not marry happily with their fishy envelope. There was also Puerto Rican coleslaw, which may or may not be a national delicacy, but I doubt it.

Mr Millard could not resist the carne asada al tobacco leaves, which he said was tender and perfect. Because tobacco leaves aren't readily available at food stores, the staff have to put them on to the meat after unpicking them from cigars on site at the restaurant.

The cigar theme continued with my pudding: a chocolate cigar in a caramel ashtray with a "cloud" of vanilla icecream smoke. Very witty. My other half had bananas Cubanas, which we hoped would arrive with a liqueur-induced flame. It didn't.

The Cube & Star, with its West End prices and hesitation to fling itself into specific gastronomical references, has missed a chance. It could just as happily exist in Berkeley Square. Dinner for two, with six glasses of wine and a couple of coupes de champagne, came to £150.