The Undercover clubber

Given the recent spate of bad weather it strikes me that if we can put a man on the moon, then surely we can do something to stop it raining all the time. I don't know - giant mirrors in space or something? As you can tell, I haven't worked out the finer details, but anything that would stop the UK's outdoor festivals turning into the quagmire that was Glastonbury would be appreciated.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Glastonbury last weekend - with Fatboy Slim and Kissy Sell Out just two of the leading lights who rocked my world - but, my God, the mud was horrific.

And don't even get me started on the tripping, slipping and terror of falling that made the toilets such a joy to visit. That's why news that the Wildchild Outside Festival, which was supposed to run in Shoreditch Park this weekend, has had to move indoors to Canvas in King's Cross due to noise restrictions, shouldn't matter one jot.

There will be louder music, cleaner toilets and the same line-up of top clubs doing their thing. Chew The Fat, Ministry, Secretsundaze, Hed Kandi, Pushca and Extreme Euphoria are just some of those represented at this daytime event and with more than 150 DJs playing, even the most jaded raver will find something to tickle their fancy. The indoor festival theme continues with Cargo claiming The World's Smallest Festival on Sunday.

Punters can expect an embarrassment of riches on the electro rock DJing front. Daughters Of Kaos, Buster B, Warboy and DJ Niyi will all be dropping the punky funky electronica, interspersed with live bands such as Man Like Me, Goldie Locks and Miss OddKidd. If you're looking for a snapshot of the cutting edge of London's alternative dance music scene, this is it.

Looking ahead, the big indoor knees-up of the summer is the TDK Festival running across the massive club complex at King's Cross Goods Yard which includes The Cross and The Key on 25-26 August.

You can call it wussy, you can tell me I'm not keeping it real, but I don't care. If it's raining, I'd like all my festivals to be moved indoors please.

And those who think bad weather is an essential part of the experience are welcome to join me and my fellow ciggie addicts out on the smoking terrace. Some rain, some secondary smoke and perhaps a pint of cider - the holy trinity of the festival experience.