The best 20 Bank Holiday club nights ...

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10 April 2012

There's no school till Tuesday, so here's where to get your kicks in the capital this weekend...

Laurent Garnier at matter
Friday 7pm-11pm (gig), 11pm-6am (club), Matter, Peninsula Square, SE10 (020 7549 6686, www.matterlondon.com) £20, £5 advance
The French techno legend (no relation of Laboratoire) is justly famed for his furious, night-long sessions of harmonic repetitive beats.
Tonight he plays not once but twice at the O2's superclub to launch his new album, Tales of a Kleptomaniac.
The early show sees him unveil his new brassy live outfit, and will be followed by a more eclectic DJ set. Plus Norman Jay, François K, Yousef and Chris Coco.

Trailer Trash
Friday 10.30pm-3am, On the Rocks, 25 Kingsland Road, E2 (020 7688 0339, www.club trailertrash.com) £5, £3 before 11.30pm
Gay, straight, zoophiliac - all persuasions are welcome at London's premiere polysexual club night, which takes place amid high drama in the dirty wastes of Shoreditch.
The excitable crowd dress up glam and move to electro and techno from Punks Jump Up (of fashionable French label Kitsune) and the Kikumoto Allstars, who dub themselves International DJ Gigolos.

Circus
Friday, 9.30pm-2.30am, The Last Days of Decadence, 145 Shoreditch High Street, E1 (07946 706 837, www.thelast daysof decadence.com) £8, £5 before 11pm
Join Jodie Harsh and her DJ mates for an evening of alternative electro at this stylish East End hangout. A soundtrack of bitch pop, basslines and retro rock attracts a trendy crowd that loves to dress up.

The Gallery
Friday, 10.30pm-7am, Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt St, SE1 (0870 060 0010, www.thegallery-club.co.uk) £15, £12 advance, £10 concs, £6 after 3am
The legendary Ibiza club night, Judgement Sundays, comes to The Gallery tonight. Boasting a stellar DJ line-up - including Judge Jules, Marco V and Marcel Woods - the night will offer one lucky clubber the chance to win an all-expenses-paid trip to Ibiza.

Rinse Youngas
Friday, 7pm-midnight, Stratford Circus, Theatre Square, E15 (0844 357 2625, www.ticketweb.co.uk) £6
Internet radio station Rinse FM kick-starts the half-term with an evening of urban, grime and funk strictly for under-18s. Alongside sets from Skepta, Ghetto and Tempa R, part of the night will be set aside for a showcase of Newham borough's local musical talent.

Unhappy Birthday Morrissey
Friday, 7.30pm-2am, The Luminaire, 311 High Road, NW6 (www.feelinggloomy.com) £12, advance £9
Feeling Gloomy, Islington Academy 2's curmudgeonly club night, heads west to toast Morrissey's 50th birthday in suitably sombre style. Includes air guitar sets, a "gloomy" pass the parcel and miserablist masterpieces from tribute band The Smyths.

Dirty Canvas
Friday, 9pm-3am, Cargo, 83 Rivington St, EC2 (020 7739 3440, www.cargo-london.com) free
The eclectic club night celebrates its fourth birthday at Cargo with a star-studded line-up that includes the legendary DJ EZ (the man behind those Pure Garage compilations), Oneman and rising dubstep star Brackles.

FabricLive
Friday, 10am-6pm, Fabric, 77A Charterhouse Street, EC1 (020 7336 8898, www.fabriclondon.com) £13, £10 advance, £6 after 3am
The colossal club night keeps the beats pumping with sets from Plump DJs and Japanese Popstars. Across in room two, Andy C and Ed Rush & Optical offer up drum'*'bass, while Toddla T and Oris Jay fill the upstairs with nu-dancehall delights.

Twee as Fuck
Friday, 9pm-1am, The Victoria, 110 Grove Road, E3 (www.myspace.com/tweeasfucknight) £6, £5 concs
Reach for the oldest cardigan you can find and head down to this monthly celebration of all things twee. Jangly guitar band The Bats (think The Byrds meet Neil Young) will be performing and there's a free rosette on entry - what more could you ask for?

Walpurgis Night – Hendrick's Halloween Ball Part 1
Friday, 8.30pm-10pm, club 10pm-4am, a secret London Bridge location, SE1 (www.thelasttuesdaysociety.org). Lecture: £15, club: £20, £15 advance
Join the beautiful and the damned at the "mysterious tunnel" in London Bridge tonight for an evening of dark delights. Catherine Arnold will be lecturing on London and its dead, before DJ sets, erotic life drawing and tarot reading keep this wild party howling into the night.

Cable
Friday, 11pm-6am, 33 Bermondsey Street, SE1 (www.cable-london.com) £12, £10 advance
Last night saw the launch of this new, custom-built club in the labyrinthine tunnels under London Bridge station. Tonight, regular punters get to take a butcher's and dance to psych-disco and Krautrock while they're at it - DJs include Beyond the Wizard's Sleeve and a certain Jarvis Cocker.

Mr Scruff
Saturday, 9pm-3am, Koko, 1a Camden High Street, NW1 (0870 4325 527) £15 advance
The well-loved northern prankster delves deep into his record box to surprise and beguile with hip-hop, lounge pop, strange Brazilian records from the Sixties and rare funk cuts, all mixed with his impeccable skill.

Mixmag presents - Night & Day
Saturday, 10pm-6am, Egg, Vale Royal, off York Way, N7 (020 7609 8364, www.mixmag.net) £15, £12 concs
The world's biggest clubbing magazine hosts a night of eclectic dance music in the "primordial rave swamp" Egg. With a line-up spanning techno (Pier Bucci), drum'n'bass (High Contrast, Ciantific) and beatboxing (Kila Kela), there's plenty here to keep its clued-up clientele dancing till dawn.

Charity Shoppe
Saturday, 9pm-2am, London Fields Rail, 137 Mare St, E8 (020 8986 4259) free
This quirky evening encourages its punters to bring their own records with them (just as long as they've bought them in a charity shop/they're suitably dog-eared, etc). Run by DJs John & On and Nasty McQuaid, it attracts a cardigan-clad clientele eager to hear the finest second-hand sounds on the market.

Mulletover Secret Rave
Sunday, 10pm-6am, a secret London location (www.myspace.com/mulletoverclub) £15, £8-£12 advance
Well, it's not a secret any more - and nor is it illegal, temporary events licences being easy to come by these days. Log on to the MySpace site to find out which warehouse the wild Mulletover crew favour this Whitsun. Then set the controls for dark, minimal house rom Robert Dietz (Cecille), Poker Flat's Burnski, Phonica's Anthea and Geddes.

Raekwon & Rahzel
Saturday, 10pm-7am, Matter, Peninsula Square, SE10 (020 7549 6686, www.matterlondon.com) £16, £12 advance, £10 concs
The former Wu Tang Clan and Roots members combine for a high-energy evening of rap and beatboxing. The US pair will be supported by homegrown hip-hoppers Jehst and Lowkey, with late-night beats sessions from Micall Parknsun, The Last Skeptic and DJ Jazz T.

FWD>>
Sunday, 8.30pm-2.30am, Plastic People, 147-9 Curtain Road, EC2 (020 7739 6471, www.ilovefwd.com) £7
Home of funky, dubstep and grime, this long-running favourite attracts some of the capital's best DJs and MCs. Its renowned sound system has had songs written after it and previous performers include Mr Bonkers himself, Dizzee Rascal.

Horse Meat Disco
Sunday, 8pm-3am, The Eagle, 349 Kennington Lane, Vauxhall, SE11 (www.myspace.com/horsemeatdiscolondon) £5The riotous night of house, electro, italo and techno attracts straight mates and dancing queens alike. Great DJs and a party atmosphere make this a debauched night of nu-disco that's hard to beat.

Secretsundaze
Sunday, 2-10pm, Ministry of Sound; 10pm-4am, The Coronet, 26-28 New Kent Road, SE1 (020 7701 1500, www.secretsundaze.net) £15, £10 advance via residentadvisor.net (or free with MoS Courtyard ticket)
Each sabbath, while right-thinking Londoners are strolling across heaths and carving roasts, the Secretsundaze crew choose to bosh their brains out to electro house. To fete the bank holiday, they're staying out not just for their customary Sunday afternoon sesh, but continuing into the evening with an afterparty at the Coronet.

The Monday Club
Monday, 9pm-2am, East Village, 89 Great Eastern Street, EC2 (020 7739 5173, www.myspace.com/themondayclubuk) £5
If Monday finds you thirsty for more, try a spot of drum'*'bass in the city - among the DJs are Probe and Ruffstuff, while the MCs, it will gladden the heart of any junglist to know, include not only Skibadee but Shabba D too. Reggae upstairs.

The best 20 Bank Holiday club nights ...

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