Best of the fests

Nudity, mud and people who smell funny: the festival season is here, a time when rational human beings make a conscious decision to live in Somme-like conditions.

This summer, instead of trogging to the countryside, check out the capital's coolest parties. Your bed is but a taxi ride away. Here's our pick of the bunch...

1. MELTDOWN
South Bank Centre, 14-22 June
Cast aside memories of the pretentious and dull Meltdowns curated by Laurie Anderson (1997) and Scott Walker (2000). This year it's Bristolian trip hop pioneers' Massive Attack in charge. The gigs, in the Royal Festival Hall, kick off with the curators themselves. From £12.50 per show, southbankcentre.co.uk

2. WIRELESS FESTIVAL
Hyde Park, 3-6 July
If you can ignore the in-your-face branding and drunk teens, Wireless delivers a cracking day out. Check out Jay-Z and Mark Ronson (Thurs), Beck and Morrissey (Fri), Fatboy Slim and Underworld (Sat) and Counting Crows (Sun), among many others. £45 per day, 02wirelessfestival. co.uk

3. SUBWAY PICNIC ROCKS
Clapham Common, 5 July
It's the first year for this sandwich-chain sponsored bash and there's only 3,000 tickets available, so fans of The Holloways, Amy Macdonald, The Noisettes, The Metros and Openroom should move fast. Everyone gets a free Subway sandwich and the first 1,000 through the gates get a free picnic blanket, too. All proceeds go the Action Against Hunger charity. £14.50, virtualfestivals.com/subwaypicnicrocks2008

4. LOVEBOX WEEKENDER
Victoria Park, 19-20 July
Last year's Lovebox was the biggest and best yet. Groove Armada, who organise the event, will no doubt be hoping for more of the same as they welcome artists such as The Flaming Lips, Goldfrapp, The Human League, Dandy Warhols, Roni Size Reprazent and many more across seven stages. And for those who like extreme rides, it has one of the best fun fairs we've ever seen at a London festival. £38.50 per day, lovebox.net

5. INNOCENT VILLAGE FETE
Regent's Park, 2-3 August
A proper family day out in the lush setting of Regent's Park, this quirky little festival is perfect if you're after something friendly and low-key that doesn't demand you dance till dawn (it finishes at 7pm). The food stalls are always fantastic, although the queues can be long, so it's worth bringing your own picnic (no glass bottles), and the music is diverse and well-programmed. This year's artists include the James Taylor Quartet, Ukelele Orchestra, James Carrington, Findlay Brown and more, plus the excellent Soul Jazz posse who run the Innocent Disco area. £5 per day, kids under three go free, innocentvillagefete.com

6. UNDERAGE FESTIVAL
Victoria Park, 8 August
Following the success of last year's inaugural festival for 14- to 18-year-olds, the organisers have increased capacity from 5,000 to 7,000 and signed up some seriously good artists for this daytime party in a park. Soft-drink-sipping youngsters will be using their reduced-fare bus passes from all over London to enjoy Gallows, The Maccabees, The Count and Sinden, Foals, The Horrors, The Teenagers, Mystery Jets and Operator Please, with more acts to be announced. Makes you wish you weren't old enough to drink. £23, underagefestivals.com

7. FIELD DAY
Victoria Park, 9 August
After last year's moans about a lack of loos, poor sound and having to wait an hour to get served at the bar, organisers assure us that this year they've invested heavily in all three areas. A new stage design should stop sound "bleeding" away and there are three times the number of bars. If that doesn't tempt you, the line-up will: Bloggers Delight, the most handsome and charming DJ duo in London, Filthy Dukes, James Holden, the ever-popular Simian Mobile Disco, The Field and Cut Copy should ensure Hackney is the hottest place to be in town that night. £25, fielddayfestivals.com

8. SHOREDITCH FESTIVAL
Shoreditch Park, 16-24 August
Sport and art are the themes for this week-long cultural celebration in the East End, but if that sounds too gungho or worthy for your tastes, then stick to the opening free music festival on Saturday, 16 August. The live music across two stages includes sets from Afro-Brazilian funk outfit Saravah Soul, Cuban salsa band Raices Cubanas, the gipsy blues of the Congo Faith Healers and a must-see performance from Nathan "Flutebox", a beatboxer who simultaneously plays a flute (seriously). Only in Shoreditch... Free, shoreditchfestival.org.uk