Theatrical atrocity

Dan Clancy's Holocaust drama is as predictable as a metronome and you may start counting the clichés. Set in Sachsenhausen, where Jewish Benjamin and homosexual Hans (Roy Horovitz, pictured) are stuck together in a cell, repairing watches for the Nazis, The Timekeepers is a bland amalgam of Kiss Of The Spider Woman and Bent.

Maybe that's why the press night audience seemed to enjoy it: the play is reassuringly familiar. Initially, Benjamin is suspicious of Hans, refusing offers of food (perhaps understandably, given that Hans keeps his stash of bread stuffed down his Y-fronts).

But when Hans winkles information about Benjamin's family out of a guard he's having sex with, the men discover a shared love of opera and their friendship grows.

Rami Baruch's Benjamin is good with his hands and takes pride in his work - his precise gestures being the most satisfying thing about this production. The only real chill comes when we're reminded to whom the watches used to belong.

The play sets out to be uplifting and director Lee Gilat claims he was "charmed by [its] modesty". I wasn't. The problem is that it seeks to turn the Holocaust into a moderately enjoyable evening's entertainment. Clancy's script isn't indefensibly bad but it's mildewed and sodden with good intentions.

He seems to be saying that gays may be camp and silly but hey, they suffered bravely under the Nazis, too. The whole thing would be insulting if it wasn't such contrived pap.

The Timekeepers