Sharon's next stage

Sharon Osbourne is to make her acting debut in a new West End production of The Vagina Monologues

10 April 2012

It's business as usual chez Osbourne. The front lawn of their elegant Beverly Hills pile is thick with grips and gaffers setting up for an MTV shoot. Phones are ringing off the hook and the house is a-buzz with flunkies gearing up for Sharon's appearance on

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno

The First Lady of reality TV is nowhere to be seen, however. She's feeling under the weather and prefers to be interviewed upstairs in the master bedroom, far from the hustle and bustle.

It's an airy oasis of calm, the soothing gurgle of a waterfall cascading into the grotto-like swimming pool below drifts in through open windows and a fresco of Renaissance Venice covers an entire wall. The gilded, marshmallow bed is the size of an aircraft carrier.

Sharon is dressed in a fluffy pink bathrobe, broad crimson highlights in her coppery hair. She's fresh-faced, impish and fun despite the collywobbles. 'I look like shit,' she trills, snuggling into an armchair. 'This is Minnie,' she says, tickling the head of a snowy furball nestling in her lap. Minnie is one of 14 dogs that wander the house or loll by the pool, oblivious to the constant chaos around them.

This month Osbourne makes her acting debut in a new West End production of The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler's meditation on the mystery and power of female sexuality. It's an honour she does not take lightly. 'Two years ago they asked me to do the Chicago production.' she says. 'I was desperate to do it, but I was diagnosed with cancer and couldn't.

I thought, "Aww, a missed opportunity, I'll never get to do it again." They asked me just before Christmas and I was like, "Oh my god, I can't believe I got a second chance!" So many great women have done it before me. Ozzy keeps saying he's going to do the Penis Monologues now.'

Ozzy, of course, is her husband, legendary Black Sabbath frontman and Most Frazzled Man In Rock. 'He keeps saying, "How the hell are you going to talk about your vagina for two hours?" I'm like, "It's not my vagina, it's everybody else's vagina." He's very confused by it all.'

Not an unprecedented state of affairs, as you'll know if you've ever seen The Osbournes - the foul-mouthed, fly-on-the-wall docu-soap that charts the hilarious, unexpectedly heartwarming ups and downs of the Osbourne clan: Sharon, Ozzy and their two bickering kids Kelly and Jack.

The Osbournes's older daughter, Aimee, refused to take part in the show, but has now stepped out of the shadows to star with her mother in The Vagina Monologues. 'I'm thrilled to be doing something with Aimee,' says Sharon. 'It's been a real bonding experience.'

The Osbournes made Sharon a star. She became a hero to millions via her unflappable ability to keep the family functioning in the face of endless crises, invariably caused by Ozzy planting his foot in the dog's bowl or walking into a tree while accidentally slicing his ear off with the tin opener, his plaintive Brummie wail of 'Sharaaaan!' signalling yet another mishap.

The show has afforded Osbourne countless opportunities. Her acting debut adds another string to an already overcrowded bow that includes stints as chat-show host, TV presenter, talent-show judge (her feud with copresenter Simon Cowell was the best thing about The X Factor), advertising spokeswoman and allpurpose celebrity. 'It all happened by accident,' she laughs. 'Ozzy is the star of the show, not me.'

Still, she is jubilant over the way things turned out. 'I'm a late bloomer,' she says. 'At 52 I've had all these opportunities handed to me. I'd be stupid not to take advantage of them. And because they've happened so late in life I'm more able to handle them and enjoy every minute. And if it all stops tomorrow, I've had a great time.'

Osbourne's recent, highly publicised brush with cancer has, however, caused her to rethink her seize-the-day attitude. 'I was like, "I have to do everything right now because I'm going to die!" But I'm still alive and I'm beginning to slow down.

It used to be "Yes, yes, yes" to everything, but you just can't do that because you spread yourself too thin. So this year, that's it, I'm cutting down.' Nevertheless she still said 'yes' to a forthcoming series of adverts for Asda. Surely Harrods is more her style?

'I don't know why people think that,' she laughs. 'I used to go to Asda the same as everybody else. I'd go and get the f***ing kids' dinners and the milk and the toilet rolls. I used to cook, too. Not very well, but I did do it.' Thanks to The Osbournes and its myriad spinoffs, Sharon's days of trundling round Iceland with a trolleyload of fish fingers and Andrex are way behind her. 'I can't do it now,' she says. 'I'd be signing autographs all day.'

But it has not all been a bed of roses. In the past few years, the Osbournes have been plagued by misfortune, from Sharon's battle with the Big C and Ozzy's near-fatal quad-bike accident to a robbery at their Buckinghamshire home and the kids' addiction problems.

'Mine and Ozzy's relationship has always been extreme,' she says. 'We've had wonderful and terrible things happen to us. We lost our best friends in a plane crash, there's been Ozzy's drinking and drug use - he's attacked me. It's never been, "Oh dear, the kids've got mumps." My kids don't get mumps, they get pneumonia. They don't get the flu, they go into rehab.'

Sharon has borne it all with fortitude. 'We really love each other,' she says. 'We fit together. And I firmly believe that something good comes out of even the darkest moment. When Ozzy had his accident, we almost lost him. But that accident finally made him get his life in order.' Not surprisingly, Sharon's own brush with death prompted a similar epiphany. 'It changed my outlook on everything,' she says.

'I used to think that, basically, people don't give a shit, no one really gives a f***. But they do! There are amazing people out there who dedicate their lives to helping others. And when your life's on the line you realise it's not all take, take, take. The world doesn't revolve around music or TV. What's important is giving something back. And I'm not talking about money, because that's easy for us. I'm talking about giving your time and giving yourself to make a difference.'

The Vagina Monologues, previews from Tue 5 Apr, first night Thur 7 Apr, Wyndhams Theatre, Charing Cross Road, WC2 (0870 060 6633).

MORE ABOUT

Beds

Sharon's next stage

Read More