He told the old story of how he tried to help a man who was mugged on Hampstead Heath. Never mind that the man in question, Alan Wheatley, is already on record stating that "almost all of what Mr Campbell has claimed is a figment of his imagination".
Campbell called for objectivity and fairness, then launched a series of viciously unfair assaults on opponents. Tory leader Michael Howard, declared Campbell, is "utterly defined by opportunism".
Campbell denounced "celebrity journalism" then revealed that he
had just written a profile of cycling superhero Lance Armstrong. He claimed that as a journalist he "always respected politicians", but forgot that he once called John Major "this piece of lettuce which passes for Prime Minister.".
When asked why he kept a diary, he failed to give the most important reason - that he calls it his "pension" and plans for sell it for several million pounds.
Two of his anecdotes were new. He got a loud laugh, and deserved it, for the story of how he found himself sitting next to Prince Philip on a motor launch. Feeling he ought to say something, Campbell asked the Duke: "Do you think you could drive one of these?"
"I was a bloody naval commander," came the thunderous reply.
Better still was the story of how he learnt that John Prescott had punched a protester during the 2001 General Election campaign.
"JP was put on the phone and he said: 'I thumped a bloke'.
"And I said: 'What sort of bloke?' "He said: 'Just a bloke.' "And I said: 'Do the media know?' and he said: 'I think it was on live telly' and I said 'Oh'."
There were too few moments like this. But the strange, creepy audience loved it and cheered, stamped their feet and whistled their appreciation at the end.
