A good night for boobs

More than 30 talented female performers giving their services in aid of breast cancer charities cannot be all bad, but this was a close thing.

Particularly after a 45-minute delay and the absence of some advertised names. Twiggy, Rula Lenska, Honor Blackman and Jerry Hall did disappearing acts but a solid comedy contingent led by co-hosts Maureen Lipman and the engagingly shambolic Mel and Sue worked hard to make amends.

A hastily rehearsed benefit gig is always likely to risk a high naff ratio and Funny Women easily exceeded expectations. Lesley Joseph made a boob by drying up while impersonating Delia Smith in full Norwich City kit. Vanessa Feltz and a nightmarish catsuit-clad Debbie McGee chaired an ill-conceived parody of Shooting Stars entitled Shooting Bras. Caprice donned Eminem-style dungarees and did a rap with Nina Wadia that made fingernails on blackboards sound appealing. Of the special set-pieces, only a selfexplanatory Breast Monologues, featuring Dannii Minogue, Tamsin Greig and friends had any real uplifting appeal.

It was left to the stand-up stalwarts to save the night with their winning soundbites. Muslim comic Shazia Mirza deadpanned how she was excited about her wedding because she could not wait to meet her husband. Jenny Eclair explained that she was becoming so forgetful she had had a nipple pierced so that she had somewhere to carry her keys. Morwenna Banks revived her endearing Beryl Reid-lite schoolgirl, who offered succinct thoughts on childbirth: "If the baby is too big the doctor has to chop your bottom off."

The evening was probably encapsulated by the usually reliable Meera Syal and Ballykissangel's Susannah Doyle, who kept cropping up as two Aussie backpackers exploring the London Underground. There was the Circle line, the Piccadilly line and the Jubilee line. In fact plenty of train lines, not enough punch lines.

Funny Women 2002