The best and worst Christmas songs of 2020, from Ball and Boe to Bieber and Mary J. Blige

It’s not even December, but it’s beginning to sound a lot like Christmas. 

Noddy, Mariah and Bing Crosby are all here as per usual, but this year there are plenty of newbies too getting into the yuletide swing. Here, we’ve rounded up the fresh festive releases to blare out while you rock around the Christmas tree. 

There are certifiable Christmas crackers and plenty of turkeys, while some songs are just downright peculiar — it is 2020, after all.

Michael Ball and Alfie Boe — Together At Home

Ball and Boe. They go together like brussels and sprouts, these two. But much like the little green veggies, this album of classic festive covers will divide opinion. Their voices are so delicious and meaty that you might as well pour them over your dinner instead of the gravy, but my word is there a lot of schmaltz.

Verdict: Turkey

Dolly Parton — A Holly Dolly Christmas

Not content with donating $1m towards a vaccine to save humanity, Dolly Parton is here to save Christmas as well, with her first festive album in three decades. And we’re so glad she did — it’s a rootin’, tootin’ delight, with 43 minutes of yuletide goodness and a feature from Mr Xmas himself, Michael Bublé.

Verdict: Cracker

Beverly Knight — A Christmas Wish

This one is just insanely Christmassy. It couldn’t be any more Christmassy if it put on a silly Santa hat, drank a bit too much at lunch and fell asleep on the sofa just before the Queen’s speech. It’s about as cliched as it comes (there are literal sleigh bells) but quite frankly, we’re fine with that.

Verdict: Cracker

Meghan Trainor — A Very Trainor Christmas

Last Christmas is one of those sacred songs — if you’re going to cover it, it better be spectacular. Sadly, Meghan Trainor’s version here is pretty lacklustre, but it’s saved by the rest of the album, which is a pretty fun, poppy success. The song Holidays, featuring Earth, Wind and Fire, has a groove tastier than a plate of pigs in blankets.

Verdict: Cracker

Jamie Cullum — The Pianoman at Christmas

Going for a classy, sophisticated Christmas? Nothing will complement your organic recycled wrapping paper and artisan tinsel better than this smoother-than-brandy-butter album from J. Cullum Esq. Jazzy piano twinkles, restrained strings, and that timeless voice of his — we’re all for it. Crack open the Fortnum’s hamper!

Verdict: Cracker

Liam Payne — Naughty List

We’re well aware that it’s the season of goodwill and all that, but sweet baby Jesus, we feel like Scrooge on speed listening to this song. That reggae-lite instrumentation? And those lyrics about plans to “misbehave with kisses like snowflakes all over your body”? No thank you. A very big bah humbug to this one.

Verdict: Turkey

Carly Rae Jepsen — It’s Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries

This is a slice of very relatable Christmas realness from Carly Rae Jepsen. “My boyfriend is a vegan, so they fed him fish/My uncle made it worse by talking politics,” she sings, as a nation of listeners nods along knowingly. The song itself is an absolute banger, so whack it on when the inevitable tears start rolling and see what happens.

Verdict: Cracker

Shaggy — Christmas in the Islands

Can’t imagine what a reggae cover of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas would sound like? Well, Shaggy’s only gone and done it. Spoiler alert: it is absolutely superb. Festive escapism doesn’t get any better than this album, so if you’re dreaming of a warm Christmas somewhere away from these chilly isles, this is for you.