Pretty unhappy woman

The 'drama' she is referring to began in the spring of 2000 when she met Moder on the set of The Mexican, in which she starred with Brad Pitt.

The ruggedly handsome Moder had a lowly position as the film's 'B camera First Assistant'. But Julia was smitten. 'I've got an instant crush on him,' she said. 'I want to be with him. I can't stop fantasising about him. I think I'm in a little bit of trouble.'

She certainly was. For, however genuine the attraction, there was one significant problem: Moder was married to make-up artist Vera Steinberg, his wife of five years.

But Moder told Julia that although he was still legally married, the relationship was on the rocks. 'He says his marriage is over, and I guess I have to believe him,' Julia remarked after a romantic dinner together. And so their affair began.

But Moder's family had grave doubts. Was Danny another victim of a woman some have dubbed a maneater?

Certainly, Julia has a long and chequered romantic past. Dalliances with actors Liam Neeson, Dylan McDermott, Keifer Sutherland, Jason Patric, Daniel Day-Lewis, Richard Gere and Matthew Perry had all fallen apart and her first marriage, to singer Lyle Lovett, ended in divorce.

But that wasn't her only problem. As often happens when a marriage crumbles, many of Moder's family sided with his ex-wife. They didn't trust Julia, believing her to be a woman used to getting what she wanted, regardless of the consequences.

Such interfering may seem odd, but Moder comes from an unusually closeknit, protective family. The youngest child of Hollywood producer Mike Moder and his first wife, he grew up in an exclusive, gated Malibu community-After leaving schoool, he got a job as production assistant for his father on the Denzel Washington film Crimson Tide.

Patricia Hilton, an ex-girlfriend, told me: 'Danny said there was no fighting what he felt for Julia, that he would have moved mountains to be with her. After they were intimate, it was clear they had to be together.'

However, there was a further complication. Julia was still involved with actor Benjamin Bratt. Indeed, many thought they were destined to marry.

HOWEVER, in June 2001, she flew to Montreal to meet him on the set of his movie Abandoned. According to those who know the couple, it was there that she tearfully confessed she was attracted to someone else. 'There was no question in her mind that it was over with Benjamin Bratt,' said Patricia Hilton. 'She loved him, but was no longer in love with him.'

Later that month, Julia attended a concert in Las Vegas performed by her former husband Lyle Lovett, to whom she remains close.

After the show, Julia appeared pale, drawn and filled with sadness. A friend said: 'It was getting to her, the whole business of choosing between two great guys, one of whom was married. People think it was easy for her; it wasn't.'

Two months later, Danny Moder moved out of the home he shared with his wife, and into an apartment with his sister, Jyl.

Although he and Julia were now, finally, a couple, only one person in the Moder family - Danny's mother Patti - was supportive of the relationship.

'Her view was that life is tough and she wasn't going to stand in judgment of it,' recalled one relative.

Tragically, 59-year-old Patti died of a heart attack just before news of the affair broke. In their grief, some family members blamed Julia, claiming the stress of her son's collapsing marriage was more than Patti could bear.

'It just wasn't true,' said a source. 'Patti was one of Julia's few allies.

Danny and Julia travelled to California for the funeral in the knowledge that their relationship had become public, and she paid for extra security so the Moders would not be disturbed.

After the service, Danny (with his estranged wife, Vera, at his side) tried to console his family, but some wouldn't even speak to him.

However, while Patti's death may have alienated certain relatives from Julia, it helped to cement her relationship with Danny. They knew that if they could get through that experience, they could survive anything.

On September 5, Julia, Danny and his father went sailing on Lake Arrowhead - the same lake into which, a week earlier, Patti Moder's ashes had been scattered. It was there that Danny's father made a decision to honour his late wife by accepting Julia into the family.

Some time later, Julia attended a party with Danny at a relative's home. Danny's sister, Jyl, questioned her about her intentions.

Julia blinked back tears and explained that Danny had told her his marriage had ended long ago, that she never meant to hurt anyone and that her feelings for Danny were real.

She then presented Jyl with a 'promise ring', saying: 'I'm giving you this so you know what I feel for Danny is true. It's my promise to you.'

Although sceptical, Jyl said she was willing to 'try to see things differently', and the two women embraced.

Two months later, Danny's divorce from Vera was finalised and he married Julia on July 4, 2002, in the private chapel in the grounds of Julia's New Mexico ranch. Only 50 guests attended, among them Bruce Willis and George Clooney.

The wedding was delayed for several hours by a torrential thunderstorm, a fitting omen of what lay ahead. For in the months that followed, Danny found it hard to adjust to being in Julia's spotlight. 'Too bad for you,' Julia told him. 'You knew what you signed up for when you took me on. The photographers come with the deal. I'm a total package. It's me - just plain ol' Julia - but, also, it's all of the c*** that comes with being the great Miss Julia Roberts. I'm a famous woman. Deal with it!'

The tensions reached a head recently when Danny's 67-year-old father remarried. Julia was apprehensive about going to the wedding because she would have to face members of the family who still don't approve of her.

Inevitably, the Press turned up. While two of Danny's sisters, Jane and Debbie, ignored their presence, Jyl confronted Julia.

'Jyl believes Julia courts publicity and turns every family event into a media opportunity,' says family friend Brian McNair.

Privately, Jyl has complained: 'Everywhere Julia goes, it's a circus, and she loves it. I'm sick of it. Someone needs to put that woman in her place, and I'm the person to do it.'

For her part, Julia suspects Jyl has leaked details of her private life to the Press in revenge. Such illfeeling would be bad enough on its own, but Julia's problems are compounded by Danny's insistence that he stays in contact with his ex-wife, Vera.

'Julia was unhappy about Vera and wanted her gone,' said McNair. 'It became the same fight over and over again between her and Danny.'

But finally, Julia said: 'I get to pick and choose who is in my life, and I don't choose Vera. Danny does choose her, but I'm not going to let it come between us.'

'Maybe if I had a baby, things would get better for everyone,' she has said. 'Danny and Vera never had a child. That's something I could do for Danny.'

Maybe not. For Julia has had trouble conceiving-Last year, she underwent fertility treatment. She won't discuss the problem with friends, saying simply that 'it's between me and my husband'.

However, Julia has also told friends that 'we will have a baby this time next year, no matter what'. This has led to speculation that the couple may adopt.

'She loves the idea of giving a needy child a home. I think it's something that could happen, soon,' said McNair.

Above all, Julia is determined to do whatever it takes to make her marriage work, even if that means going out of her way to include Jyl in her life.

Recently, Julia flew Danny's sisters - Jyl, Debbie and Jane - and his brother, John, from California to New York to attend a surprise party for her husband's 35th birthday.

DANNY was bowled over to see Jyl there,' recalled one of the guests. 'It says a lot about Julia's determination to smooth things over that she sent for Jyl, and I guess it speaks well of Jyl that she agreed to be there.

'Julia and Jyl were cautious toward each other. They seem to have called a truce.'

Julia is also staying out of the public eye as much as possible in order to give Danny a fair chance at adjusting to life with her.

Last year she made only one movie - Mona Lisa Smile - and as Danny was the director of photography, the couple were together throughout.

'People look at me and think: "Wow, Julia Roberts, she has it all," ' she has said.

Not yet, she doesn't. Until she can resolve her family disputes and cradle a baby in her arms, that famous Roberts smile will remain tinged with sadness.