Poor man's Eddie Murphy

As a vehicle for the modest talents of Martin Lawrence, this is running on empty. Imagine 48 Hours rehashed without the jokes.

As lowly National Security guards (ie janitors in uniform), Lawrence (who is deluded enough to believe he is a 21st century Eddie Murphy) and a former cop (Steve Zahn) team up when they stumble upon a criminal conspiracy that reaches the highest levels of the LAPD.

They are, though, reluctant partners because Zahn has served six months in prison for supposedly beating Lawrence up, Rodney King-style.

You know what you're letting yourself in for the moment a peroxided Eric Roberts struts on to the screen as the leading villain. It sets off that alarm in your head that repeats "Straight to video! Straight to video!" over and over again until you have to lie down in a dark room and listen to whale music to recover. Abysmal beyond words.

National Security
Cert: cert12A