Jonathan Aitken: The best way to do time for two different crimes

Rolf Harris and Andy Coulson can make prison a good experience if they accept their guilt and act positively

Inside information: Rolf Harris was sentenced to nearly six years, while Andy Coulson got 18 months (Picture: Getty)

8 July 2014

Take the cucumbers Jonno! It’s your only hope of surviving in this nick. Take the bloody cucumbers!”

This was the first piece of advice given to me as a new prisoner by a fellow inmate after my arrival at HMP Belmarsh on June 8, 1999. The horticultural suggestion about cucumbers seemed incomprehensible at the time but I later discovered that it was well-intentioned advice to an ex-Cabinet minister and would have been imperative for a serial sex offender like Rolf Harris.

In prison lingo cucumbers = numbers; numbers = Rule 43; Rule 43 says that any new arrival is entitled to be segregated for his own protection on a vulnerable prisoners [VPs] wing. I wasn’t interested in such isolation but it is essential for a paedophile.

VPs are mainly sex offenders or “nonces” although other rare beasts of the prison jungle such as jailed police officers, “grasses”, and inmates with special worries about their personal safety also apply for the special protection of Rule 43.

As Rolf Harris will find, a vulnerable prisoners wing is much more claustrophobic than the mainstream of prison life. VPs cannot associate with other inmates. They have their own separate chapel services, work regimes and exercise yards.

This separation does not guarantee perfect protection. In many jails the ordinary prisoners’ exercise yards are separated from the VPs’ only by reinforced wire netting. I vividly remember in Belmarsh how viciously the “nonces” were verbally abused by the “straight” men of violence — armed robbers, arsonists and murderers who felt themselves morally superior to the sex offenders.

Because of these warped values, Rolf Harris is bound to have many atmospherically difficult moments during his sentence. But prison officers are becoming far more careful, skilful and sensitive in their protection of VPs. I would expect Harris to be kept in a single cell and moved to one of the increasing number of prisons that exclusively house sex offenders. At the age of 84 he will be a candidate for the geriatric wings that exist within some establishments. So he should be safe. But what kind of life can he expect behind bars?

There are two cardinal rules for becoming a “positive” prisoner. First, accept your own guilt. Whatever the posturings in the courtroom, reality knocks once the cell door slams. The unhappiest prisoners I ever met were those who went on boiling with resentment about the judge, jury, the police and the prosecution witnesses. These whingers were known as “Double Richards” [translation: Richard III = bird; bird = sentence; Double Richard = someone who serves his sentence twice over by falsely protesting their innocence to all comers]. By contrast, sensible prisoners admit that the game is up and that they must pay for their crimes.

Once a prisoner releases himself from the figment of his imagination known as “membership of the not-guilty club”, the next move is to work out how to do your bird quietly, positively and to the benefit of the prison community.

I believe that Harris may settle well into the positive prisoner groove provided he can shift out of the “no remorse” gear for which he was rightly criticised by the trial judge. Here are four suggestions:

First: sex offenders have to spend a lot of their time in therapy groups. If Harris opens up, bares his soul and honestly shares his weaknesses with others, his leadership will help his younger fellow sinners to conquer their demons and perhaps prevent future sex crimes.

Second: all prisons have art classes. What a great teacher Harris would be to those who might be encouraged to alter the direction of their criminal lives by finding fulfilment and raising their self-esteem through artistic endeavour. If Harris puts his talent at the disposal of younger prisoners, it would be a big help to both them and his teachers.

Third: most prisons experiment with musical therapy for some of their inmates. Guitars, drums and other instruments are provided for free. Perhaps Harris could help with guitar lessons, jam sessions and musical workshops to help rebuild the confidence of the many lost sheep in our jails.

Fourth: prison drama is a well tried and tested route to rehabilitation. Thanks to the pioneering work of organisations like Only Connect, Escape Artists, TiPP, Clean Break and the Koestler Trust, more than 8,000 prisoners (10 per cent of the jail population) now take part in plays and artistic productions. Harris could be inspiring in this work.

Harris was not the only high-profile prisoner to go behind bars this week. Someone who will have an easier and probably more positive time inside is Andy Coulson, the former News of the World editor now serving 18 months for phone hacking.

Coulson will be able to mix freely with all inmates and, given his natural journalistic curiosity, he will probably enjoy, as I did, the stories, the humour and the vibrancy of life on the wing.

He will be respected in prison for two reasons. First, because he is what cons call “a real man” — stoical, courageous and dignified in adversity.

Second, because he told me himself on the day before his sentence that he was “determined to make the best of prison”. The ideas for this we discussed were becoming “a listener” (a prison Samaritan) or working for the Shannon Trust’s Toe by Toe programme, which enables young illiterate prisoners to be taught reading and writing skills by other prisoners or doing inmate-to-inmate mentoring. Coulson’s enthusiasm for such work speaks volumes for the constructive way he is facing his sentence with humility and realism.

From participating in the arts to helping young prisoners through mentoring and teaching, there are lots of ways to serve your time positively. I wish both Rolf Harris and Andy Coulson well in their efforts to achieve this goal.

Jonathan Aitken: The best way to do time for two different crimes

Read More