Bah humbug? No, declining a festive invite shows love for your friends

Christmas brings invitations for endless parties and text messages from friends urging that we simply must get a date in the diary before the end of the year. A word of advice? It’s OK to say: “Thanks but no thanks.”

I used to be one of those eternal yes-men when it came to festive catch-ups. Part of my job is, after all, to mingle at book launches, private views and premieres most nights of the week.

I used to refuse to allow those obligations to get in the way of being at a mate’s flat-warming, birthday party or baby shower, so I’d do it all.

An hour at a restaurant opening, then a jump on the Jubilee line to a friend’s engagement celebrations, then a cab to make it to some product launch at a nightclub.

But then I realised: no one was benefiting from this constant multitasking.

Such people-pleasing is wholly exhausting. Friends may initially appreciate the effort that you have put in to get to them for even a short amount of time but, largely, they don’t even notice and some do not like the insinuation that they are deserving of only a fraction of your evening.

A few years into this hamster wheel I made a discovery: I was not seeking to show friends how important they were to me. I was showing off: “How wonderful that dear, important Guy makes the time to drop in for a negroni when he could be swilling champagne with Arnold Schwarzenegger.”

It would be better if I’d sent my apologies and set a date for a one-on-one coffee.

Christmas is about being with loved ones, yes, but it’s not about squeezing in as many acquaintances as you can. Next time that you double- or triple-book yourself, consider whose ego you are stroking by over-promising, and send a “no” with your kindest regards.

An independent school in Oxfordshire has sent out a decree: parents are to spend no more than £50 on their children’s teachers this Christmas. Ban the practice altogether, I beg you.

I used to work in a wonderful state primary in north-west London. At the festive season a few pupils would bring in a box of chocolates or a card. It was much appreciated but not all the parents could afford a tub of Roses and I found myself trying to limit bad feeling by accepting gifts as covertly as possible. Teachers aren’t paid anywhere near enough but there are other ways to show them you care — and they’re usually free.

It's finally happened: my childhood passions are being revisited for nostalgic purposes. This week singer Ariana Grande released the music video for her new song, thank u, next.