California dreaming in Norfolk

I heard from a friend about a new hotel in Norfolk equivalent to something one might find in California. Not an antique in sight. I was also told to expect modern Asian-Pacific cooking at cheap prices.

But when I arrived at Brovey Lair with my friend, Veronica, I thought I must have come to the wrong place. The building was small, constructed of unattractive modern brick, with no visible indication of a hotel. Eventually, a greyhaired man emerged: "You are in the right place," said owner Mike Pemberton. "Many people wonder."

He led the two of us through a hall with walls covered in modern art. Off it was the restaurant. This turned out to be an open-plan kitchen, with glass-and-steel tables, where Mike's partner, Tina, did the cooking. Windows opened on to a pool in sloping grounds. Chickens pecked away in a corner.

We had to walk through the garden to our room, which had been described as a luxury suite, but Mike said disingenuously: "You never know what is meant by a suite these days. It's really more of a large double." Being Mike's idea of California, there was not much furniture.

The room contained a kingsize bed, a sofa upholstered in fluorescent orange and a small glass table. There was a CD, radio and a TV with DVD. To my delight, the bathroom possessed that object so rarely found in this country - a bidet. There were scents and body lotions in sachets.

I tried to open the blinds for a view of the garden, but the plastic pull came off in my hand. Mike was apologetic. "That's the trouble with modern things, they're so complicated." I began to think he was a bit of a fish out of water. There was a lot of the latter - it was pelting as we walked to the restaurant for dinner.

Tina had rung beforehand to find out what sort of food I liked. We were the only ones, apart from some wine merchants who had brought their own drink. This they kindly offered to share. The gesture made me wonder about the hotel wine list, which I asked to see. The prices were reasonable, but I had heard of few of the wines.

Dinner turned out to be truly superb. Carpaccio of tuna in sashimi sauce was followed by borscht and teppanyaki monk fish. The wine merchants were becoming noisy and I thought it best to retire.

Off we trotted through the rain, for which Mike kept apologising. He was pathetically proud of his pool, and added that I might like to swim before breakfast. By breakfast I could hardly walk, let alone swim, as the CD radio had turned itself on during the night at halfhourly intervals and there seemed no way of stopping it, save with a hammer.

Brovey Lair offered an American breakfast which did cheer me a little. This included waffles, but I opted for bacon and fried eggs.

My companion asked for croissants. The croissants arrived first and were pronounced sublime by both of us. When I left, I felt sorry for Mike and Tina. A slice of open-air California is wonderful in dry heat, but in rainy Norfolk?

Brovey Lair (01953 882706), Ovington, Thetford, Norfolk; luxury suite £110 B&B; dinner £37.50pp.